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The Chinese proverb, "The palest ink is better than the best memory," is a timeless reminder of the importance of documenting important information in writing. From ancient civilizations that used hieroglyphics to the modern-day digital age, writing has played a critical role in preserving and transmitting knowledge. In modern times, when technology has made it easier to store and retrieve information, the significance of this proverb is more relevant than ever before. What did the elders know about writing that they suggested it as a superior form of documentation compared to memory? And what is the symbolism behind the use of pale ink?

Writing is a more reliable form of documentation than memory because it is not subject to the distortions and inaccuracies that memory is prone to. Writing is also more accessible than memory because it can be easily retrieved and shared with others.

To Write or To Memorize?

The use of pale ink in the proverb is symbolic of the fragility of memory. In China, ink has a long history and cultural significance. The art of calligraphy is highly regarded and considered a form of expression and artistry. The contrast between pale ink and bright memory highlights the value of written records. Pale ink fades over time, just as memories fade with time. The use of pale ink also implies that even the faintest written record is more reliable than the brightest memory because of the significant challenges posed by the limitations of memory when it comes to preserving accurate information.

Memory is subjective, and people often remember things differently. Memory is also prone to distortion and can be influenced by a person's emotions and biases. The best human memory is capable of retaining information for an indefinite period of time. However, the ability to retrieve that information accurately decreases over time. Studies have shown that memory retention is affected by several factors, such as the complexity of the information, the level of interest or attention given to the information, and the individual's ability to recall the information. In general, people tend to remember information better if it is meaningful, relevant, and emotionally engaging.

Additionally, the use of mnemonic techniques such as visualization, repetition, and association can help improve memory retention. It is important to note that individual differences in memory capacity and retention exist, and that some people may have a better memory than others. In like manner, individual differences in memory function exists, and that some people may be more susceptible to memory impairment than others.

Several factors can impact memory and diminish accurate recall. Some of the most common factors are:

1.     Time. Memory tends to decay over time, especially if the information is not reinforced or retrieved regularly.

2.     Age. As people age, their memory abilities may decline due to biological changes in the brain.

3.     Stress. High levels of stress can impair memory formation and retrieval.

4.     Sleep/ Lack of sleep or poor-quality sleep can negatively affect memory consolidation, making it harder to remember information.

5.     Health. Medical conditions such as Alzheimer's disease, stroke, or traumatic brain injury can affect memory.

6.     Nutrition. Poor diet and vitamin deficiencies can negatively impact memory function.

7.     Emotional state. Strong emotions, both positive and negative, can interfere with the ability to recall information.

8.     Attention and focus. The ability to focus and pay attention to information is crucial for memory formation, and distractions or multitasking can impair these processes.

9.     Encoding and retrieval strategies. The way information is encoded and retrieved can also affect memory. Effective encoding strategies, such as repetition or association, can improve memory, while ineffective retrieval strategies, such as cramming or guessing, can impair memory recall.

So, to write or to memorize?

In a society that values efficiency and organization, we cannot underestimate the importance of writing as a superior form of documentation compared to memory. Memory is fragile, and prone to lapses and diminishing returns. Writing is more reliable, accessible, and organized. The use of written records can ensure that information is not lost or distorted over time.

Written records have been instrumental in preserving history and culture. They provide insight into the customs, beliefs, and practices of previous generations. Written records also serve as a primary source of information for researchers, scholars, and historians. The availability of written records ensures that important information is not lost to time. They ensure a more organized and accessible form of information than memory. This is especially important in a society that values efficiency and organization.

This proverb underscores the importance of written communication in many fields, including business, education, and law. It is critical in education. The use of written assignments and exams ensures that students are tested on their knowledge rather than their memory. The proverb highlights the significance of written contracts and agreements, which provide a legal framework that protects parties and ensures that the terms of their agreements are clearly defined, preserved, and accessible for recall or enforcement.

Back to our question: to write or to memorize? As the Chinese proverb illustrates, “the palest ink is better than the best memory.” The wisdom of the words serves as a timeless reminder of the importance of written documentation. Take heed and write things down, whether as simple letters, emails, for educational purposes, or as legal agreements. Don’t rely on your memory. Just write.

There are several easy and fast ways to record information rather than relying on memory. Here are a few options:

1. Write it down. One of the simplest and most effective ways to record information is to write it down. This can be done with pen and paper, or by using digital note-taking tools such as Evernote, OneNote, or Google Keep. I use Evernote a lot. It started seven years ago when I responded to the company’s call to “Tame your work, organize your life. Remember everything and tackle any project with your notes, tasks, and schedule all in one place.”Their slogan is not just hype; they’ve been a lifesaver for me, and I have access to an organized documentation of years of my thoughts, complete with date and time stamps.

2. Record a voice memo. If writing is not an option, recording a voice memo on a smartphone or other recording device can be a quick and easy way to capture information. You can do this while on the move or busy with house chores. Check your phone for this feature or download a free app.

3. Use a dictation app. Many smartphones and computers come with built-in dictation software that allows you to speak your notes and have them transcribed into text.

4. Take a picture. If the information is visual, taking a picture with a smartphone or camera can be an easy way to capture and remember it.

5. Use a mind mapping tool. Mind mapping tools such as MindNode, XMind, or Coggle can help you visually organize and remember information.

6. Use a task management app. Task management apps such as Monday.com, Asana, or ClickUp can help you record and prioritize information related to tasks or projects. Here are some of the best Task Management Tools of 2023 to help keep you and your team organized and on target.

7. Use a journal. Keeping a journal can be a helpful way to record important information, thoughts, and ideas. Journaling offers additional mental, physical, emotional, and psychological benefits. Journals can be physical or digital and can be used for various purposes such as tracking habits, brainstorming, or reflection. If you are techy, here is a list of the 6 best journal apps for 2023. I like to write things down on paper, so I have bound journals where I capture different thoughts.

Handwriting or Digital Notetaking?

Now that we’re aligned with the wisdom of the elders that “the palest ink is better than the best memory,” how should you write? Technology gives us options, as you’ve seen if you clicked on any of the links in the previous section. However, if you’re not a techy person, here’s some good news. In a 2021 study by neuroscientists from the University of Tokyo, complete with functional MRI neuroimaging data and documentation, found that writing things down on paper is faster, more accurate, and allows you to be more creative. Perhaps the more fascinating find was that the process of writing by hand triggered increased robust activity in multiple areas of the brain and facilitated better memory recall in the participants in the Note group than the Tablet and Phone groups. They noticed the increase in “the language-related frontal regions, the visual cortices, the precuneus, and bilaterally in the hippocampus.”

Neuropsychologists talk a lot about “encoding,” the biological process by which what we perceive through our senses travels to our brain’s hippocampus, where they are then analyzed. It is the sorting space that leads to what gets stored in our long-term memory or discarded. The 2021 study in Tokyo confirmed what neuroscientists and neuropsychologists had stated previously, that—writing helps. Their findings also confirmed the free advice the Chinese elders gave through their proverb, that—writing helps. They said their piece before technology expanded the options of how to write and got us to where we now have to choose how to write.

So, what’s your excuse? There’s something out there today that will work for you, whether you’re techy or “old-school” like me. Just find a documentation method that works for you and use it. There’s been enough studies to settle the question of “to write or to memorize?” As technology advances and we continue to innovate with new gadgets to mimic functions like writing, there will be more studies about which writing forms—by hand or via digital devices—yield the greater benefit. Whatever answers we will uncover, start by acting on this free, timeless advice that “the palest ink is better than the best memory.”

AN APPEAL

Don’t waste your ideas or thoughts. Don’t fritter away your imagination. You may not have the means or the time to act on an idea when it comes to you. Don’t entrust it to your memory. Write it down.

Don’t bask in present euphoria when starting a business or project. Anticipate when the information you have at your fingertips now will wane. Contemplate when the high emotions of the people you’re with will cool and you all will need reminders about commitments, expectations, and roles. Write down a business plan. Get a legal agreement.

Something happened at work or in your family or life? Why not write it down to preserve it for posterity? Don’t trust your memory. Write it down. You will find the information useful later.

Memories fade and fail with time and we lose the material particulars of important ideas, events, and occurrences. Remember the wisdom of the Chinese elders: “the palest ink is better than the best memory.” What do you need to write down to preserve? Start writing.

LET’S TALK

Do you prefer the tactile experience of writing or do you find using a voice memo or dictation app as faster and more convenient? Share what recording method works best for you and your needs. We all could learn from you.

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Over the last several days, I’ve had to switch to Plans B, C, and D on a number of things. I am a firm believer in the “plan your work and work your plan” mantra, so I plan almost everything. As long as it seems likely that I can make realistic plans that I or someone else can accomplish, in the present or the future, I map out clear steps and timelines to translate ideas to action. But getting so immersed in plans also means that I’ve had numerous experiences of planning and working without achieving the desired outcomes.

As happened with the three projects that were my recent focus, none of them worked as Plan A. However, I found proverbial wisdom as an aid to recover, reset, and resume progress towards my goals via Plans B, C, and D. It was hidden in the poignant question of this New Zealand proverb: “Can I pull down the sun with a forked stick, or prevent it from running its course?"

The proverb acknowledges the immense power and importance of the sun in the natural world. It uses the forked stick as a metaphor for human agency, while the sun represents the forces of nature that are beyond human control. It forced me to pause and ponder the question: can I pull down the sun with a forked stick for myself? No. Can I do so for another? Not at all.

Did You Know That …

The average distance from the sun to the earth is about 93 million miles (149.6 million kilometers). This distance can vary slightly over the course of the year due to the elliptical shape of the Earth's orbit around the sun, but on average it remains approximately the same. No natural bird or airplane can fly close to the sun. They typically fly at cruising altitudes of around 30,000 to 40,000 feet (9,000 to 12,000 meters), which is well beneath the sun's surface. Created to rule the day, the sun reigns high up in the skies without apology however extreme its heat or glare. If airplanes can only get that close to the sun, there is no fork long enough that I can get to touch the sun and pull it down. There is also no authority that I possess that I can use to prevent the sun from running its course.

This proverb serves important reminders that are two sides of the same coin:

1. Accept your limitations.

2. Don’t shirk your responsibilities.

Accept Limitations

You are capable of achieving great things, but not all things. If you haven’t yet had a taste of life’s lemons, it’s a matter of time till you experience setbacks and failures in life. Experiencing failure can be incredibly challenging, especially when you’ve put a lot of time, effort, and resources into the projects and plans that did not succeed. I take this moment to acknowledge the pain and frustration you probably feel over that. But you will need to move on. And in the face of disappointment, you will need to remember that you are not alone in your experience. That things will not always go your way, because you’re just one person and there’s only so much of you. Be intentional and avoid frustration and disappointment over this fact. Whatever happens, shift gears to control your response to the situation. That way, you’ll be able to maintain a sense of agency and purpose.

Focus on what you can control. You cannot stop the sun from rising or setting. In like manner, you cannot always control the outcome of all your projects and plans. Acknowledge the reality that setbacks and failures are a natural part of the journey towards success. In fact, a natural part of life. And that it's okay to feel disappointed and upset when your plans don’t turn out as expected, but it's also important to pick yourself up and keep moving forward. With resilience and determination, you will be able to bounce back from any setback.

You may need to take some time to reflect on what went wrong, and what you can do differently next time. But don't be too hard on yourself, knowing that even the most successful people have faced failure at some point in their lives. When down, think about the apt rhetorical question of the New Zealand proverb: “can you pull down the sun with a forked stick, or prevent it from running its course?”

Don’t Shirk Your Responsibilities

The elders of New Zealand did not intend to be fatalistic or defeatist with this proverb. Hence, the question it raises does not absolve you of responsibility for your choices and their consequences. Do not seek to use it to avoid planning or working as you ought. Granted that there are forces in the world that are beyond your control, but do not use this proverb to justify not playing your part in accordance with the right values and choices that align with your goals and aspirations.

Rather, the proverb is a reminder that there are limits to human agency. To reiterate, be mindful of your limitations and work towards what you can control. Do so to avoid disappointment, frustration, and burnout. Do it to be free to focus your energy on the areas where you can be most productive and make a positive difference. But do not stop pushing forward in the pursuit of your goals and never give up on your dreams. Limitations aside, you can still accomplish a lot with focused diligent efforts.

AN APPEAL

In closing, I have had some difficult conversations in the last two days that remind me that it can be difficult to move forward from failure. I understand that it's normal to feel discouraged, and it's important to give yourself time to process your emotions. If this is you, please be kind to yourself. Remember that your worth as a person is not defined by the outcome of your projects or plans. You are valuable and worthy of love and respect, regardless of what happens.

Remember that success and failure are not solely the result of our individual efforts. There are often external factors at play that you may not be able to control. Rather than focusing on what you could have done differently, reflect on what you learned from this experience, and how you can apply that knowledge moving forward.

Also, it is important to surround yourself with a supportive network of people who can help you through this difficult time. Friends, family members, mentors, or colleagues who you trust and admire all make the cut. These people can offer you words of encouragement, perspective, and advice as they support you.

“Can you pull down the sun with a forked stick or prevent it from running its course?”No, you cannot. No one can. I hope you can make peace with your limitations and stop trying to.

LET’S TALK

None of us can control every aspect of our lives, but we can control how we respond to the challenges we face. Perhaps your project and plans failed despite your best efforts. How have you moved on? How are you wiser from the experience?

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SUBSCRIBERS: A warm welcome to new subscribers and thank you to those of you who have been here for longer. I am grateful for being here and for believing in the vision that wisdom is profitable to direct, hence worthwhile to seek. Thank you for helping to advance the quest for wisdom. I appreciate you and look forward to your continued engagement.

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Welcome to another edition of Proverbs on Blast newsletter.

In this post, we draw wisdom from the beautiful country of Malaysia. There, the elders used a subtle analogy from the animal kingdom to pierce the bubble of our social-media-saturated world with the Malay proverb: "The turtle lays thousands of eggs without anyone knowing, but when the hen lays an egg, the whole country is informed."

At its core, the proverb is a timely reminder that presents a wise approach to navigating multiple facets of our 21^st century lives. Its words offer no explicit warning. However, one could interpret it as a caution against the dangers of seeking constant attention and recognition, and the potential negative consequences of focusing too much on external validation rather than quietly and steadily pursuing one's goals.

Also, the proverb weighs in with commentary on different types of accomplishments over others. It states facts that can help us determine who and what to affirm or commend. Or help us resolve how best to respond to the constant urge to produce or consume an endless stream of content saturating multiple platforms. Perhaps more importantly, the proverb offers encouragement to those who may not feel seen or heard while surrounded by those who are bolder and louder with self-promoting their lesser achievements.

Thus, whether focused on the turtle, the hen, or the lessons that the Malay elders used both to symbolize, the proverb is a powerful statement about the nature of recognition and attention in society. It subtly questions how we handle recognition and attention for others and for ourselves. It forces us to reckon with whether we are more interested in flashy, attention-grabbing achievements than in the quiet and steady progress that comes from hard work and perseverance. After all, we are all familiar with the human reality of some individuals working tirelessly and producing great results, but not receive the recognition they deserve. Sometimes, they have to watch while others who consistently produce comparatively less than them receive more attention and acclaim. By and large, we have become numb to the unfairness and may even unwittingly perpetuate it. This oft-repeated scenario can be discouraging and disabling for many diligent hard workers whose voices are no match for the decibels of the bold, brash, and bullish who underperform or underachieve.

Proverbs are not idle words and the words of this proverb were not intended to be read, said, or written without pondering. So, what are we to take away from the use of the disparate reaction of the hen and the turtle to the same activity? Let’s take a cursory look at the egg-laying abilities of both animals.

Counting Eggs – The Hen

A hen can lay only one egg at a time. However, under certain conditions, it is possible for a hen to lay two eggs in one day, although this is relatively rare. On average, a healthy hen will lay one egg per day, but the number of eggs can vary depending on factors such as age, breed, diet, and environment.

Hens typically begin laying eggs at around 5-6 months of age and will continue to lay eggs for several years, with peak egg production occurring between 1-2 years of age. After that, the number of eggs laid per week will gradually decrease.

The average lifespan of a hen is around 5-10 years, depending on the breed and other factors such as diet, environment, and health care. Over the course of its lifetime, a hen can lay anywhere from 300-400 eggs per year, although this number can vary depending on the factors mentioned above.

Assuming a conservative estimate of 300 eggs per year, a hen could lay around 1,500 to 3,000 eggs over the course of its lifetime. However, keep in mind that egg production tends to decline as hens age, so the number of eggs laid will likely decrease as the hen gets older.

Generally, a hen is constantly clucking and drawing attention to herself, making sure that everyone is aware of her presence. But if you think they are loud, wait for the annoying cackle they make after their once or twice a day accomplishment! They can cackle from anywhere between 1 to 15 minutes after laying an egg.

Counting Eggs – The Turtle

The number of eggs that a turtle can lay in its lifetime can vary depending on the species, size, and age of the turtle, as well as environmental factors such as food availability and habitat quality. For example, some smaller turtle species may lay only a few eggs per year, while larger species such as sea turtles can lay hundreds of eggs in a single nesting season. Some species of turtles may also lay eggs multiple times per year, while others may only lay eggs once per year or every few years.

In general, female turtles can lay anywhere from a few dozen to several hundred eggs over the course of their lifetime, depending on these various factors. Some larger sea turtle species, such as the leatherback turtle, have been known to lay over 1,000 eggs in a single nesting season, while other smaller species may only lay a few dozen eggs per year.

Part I - Can You Find the Turtles?

As stated earlier, the Malay proverb "The turtle lays thousands of eggs without anyone knowing, but when the hen lays an egg, the whole country is informed" does not necessarily offer any explicit warning. It merely states facts about hens and turtles as they play out in every clime and age. The hen is its own PR machine and gets recognized for its every effort, however little. Thus, we can deduce from the proverb a call for assistance to promote the turtle. It does not seek attention, recognition, or external validation but goes about quietly and steadily pursuing its goals. However, its output earns it the recognition and respect that it does not seek.

In your circles, keep these 4 points in mind about FINDING the turtles:

Recognize hidden contributions. The proverb suggests that the turtle's contribution to the world may be overlooked or unnoticed, as it goes about its business of laying eggs quietly and unobtrusively. In like manner, the hidden or less visible contributions of the people around you are no less important. Recognize and promote the value of hard work and persistence in others, even if it goes unnoticed. Especially when it goes unnoticed. Encourage and appreciate those who work diligently and steadfastly towards their goals, and don’t be one of those who dismiss or ignore their contributions. Recognize people for their work. Celebrate their accomplishments. It’d be a win for all.

Promote humility as a virtue. The proverb suggests that the turtle quietly goes about its business of laying eggs without seeking attention or recognition, in contrast to the hen which attracts attention with every egg it lays. While social media has normalized seeking constant recognition or attention, being humble and unassuming are still worthy traits. Hence, encourage individuals to focus on their own progress and growth rather than seeking attention or applause from others. Help others to see the value of quiet determination, hard work, and humility. Help them to make that their primary focus.

Refocus society's attention on meaningful accomplishments. Encourage people to look beyond flashy or attention-grabbing achievements and instead recognize the value of steady, consistent progress towards long-term goals. But don’t just encourage it in others, lead the way by practicing it. Demonstrate it in your spheres of influence. Create an environment of support and encouragement. Provide opportunities for people to share their accomplishments. Seek out the turtles. Highlight their achievements. Celebrate them.

Celebrate the value of diversity in accomplishments. The proverb also leaves room for commending the hen’s one or two eggs a day achievement so don’t use this proverb to rain on her parade. Too bad she fills the air with her own self-praise. The proverb gives a glimpse into why you may not be able to do much about that. However, it also allows you to be more empathetic towards the range of behaviors in egg-laying species. So, use that knowledge to remember to recognize and appreciate the wide range of talents, skills, and contributions that people can make to their communities and society as a whole—hens and turtles alike. Encourage people to celebrate their own achievements. Teach them to seek out and support the achievements of others, no matter how small or large.

Part II - Do You Identify with the Turtle?

Perhaps you identify more with the turtle in the proverb, don't despair. Will you have to learn how to brag about your achievements to get noticed? Will you need to cackle loudly about what you plan to do, are doing, or have done to get recognition? Maybe you’ve had enough and feel as though you need to reduce your output to not feel ignored? The hen can’t help itself but must open its mouth wide and cackle about its one egg a day accomplishment. Rather than feel bad about the hen getting all the attention or moan about being overlooked, why not just stay motivated and focused on your own goals? There’s a lot packed into your identity as a multiple egg-laying being, so don’t get distracted or discouraged by the public service announcements of the less achieving neighbor of yours who won’t stop cackling.

Keep these 5 things in mind about BEING the turtle:

Keep going. Just like the turtle lays thousands of eggs over the course of its lifetime, your efforts will add up over time and can make a difference. Even if it feels like no one is noticing right now, your hard work and dedication can pay off in the long run. Stay focused. Stay productive.

Believe in yourself. It can be discouraging when your efforts are not recognized or appreciated by others, but don't let that shake your confidence in your own abilities and value. Your contributions are important, and your work matters more than you think even if others don't see it yet.

Stay true to your values. The turtle lays eggs quietly and steadily, without seeking attention or recognition, and you too can continue to work toward your goals and values without becoming distracted by external validation. Stay focused on what matters to you, and trust that your efforts will be recognized in due time.

Seek support. It can be lonely and discouraging to feel like your efforts are going unnoticed, but remember that you are not alone. Seek out support from friends, family, or colleagues who understand and appreciate your work, and who can offer encouragement and validation when you need it.

Celebrate your successes. Even if your successes are not being celebrated by others, it's important to take time to acknowledge and celebrate them yourself. Whether it's a small accomplishment or a major milestone, be proud of what you have achieved and know that your efforts are making a difference.

AN APPEAL

In today's world, where social media and instant gratification have become the norm, it’s easy to let online noise and applause downplay or obscure the importance and roles of perseverance, humility, and recognition. But work hard and persevere in your efforts, even if they go unnoticed. You are valuable. You matter. And your contributions matter.

The need for external validation and applause can suck life and vitality from you, your dreams, and your efforts. Turtles lay eggs quietly and buried in the sand to protect from predators. But no one becomes aware of the egg-laying capabilities and egg count of the turtle can stay impressed with those of the chicken who makes more noise than it produces eggs. External validation are not a measure of your worth. Rather than seek recognition, keep being you. Recognition will find you.

"The turtle lays thousands of eggs without anyone knowing, but when the hen lays an egg, the whole country is informed" You can’t stop the hen from getting on her soapbox and cackling loud and long. But you can remember that every effort counts, and that perseverance and hard work will pay off in the end. Yours can too.

Again, you matter, even in the quiet obscurity of buried or unrecognized efforts. Time cannot efface your contributions. Keep working hard, quietly, and steadily to lay as many eggs as you can whether or not they attract attention and recognition. With time, your immense contributions will be unearthed.

LET’S TALK

How can you stay motivated and focused on the pursuit of your most pressing goal without recognition or applause?

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SUBSCRIBERS: Welcome to new subscribers and thank you to those of you who have been here for longer. I remain grateful for your support of this project. Thank you for believing in the vision. Thank you for helping to advance the quest for wisdom. I appreciate you and look forward to your continued engagement.

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Will you shine as the light that you are?

Will you settle into the fact that you are an embodiment of light and your being here means that none of us need languish in darkness?

Darkness is pervasive with too many dim spaces in the world. And too many times, gloom and doom blankets places that were once brightly lit with the sounds of merriment and the abundance of joy. There is no guarantee that we are secure from darkness anywhere and no assurance that any of us will be spared. Against this painful reality, a North African proverb echoes the timely challenge that "If you cannot be a lighthouse, be a candle."

The proverb presumes that everyone can give light but concedes with the option that some people will be able to emit far-reaching brightness while others may be capable of giving only short-ranged flickers of light. It used the word “cannot” to remind that its challenge is not about what we may desire to be but about what we are capable of being and possibly already are. Resting on the binary options of ‘big or small,’ the proverb calls us to be what we already are—a lighthouse or a candle.

At first glance, the idea of being a lighthouse may seem daunting. After all, lighthouses are towering beacons of light that guide ships to safety through treacherous waters. I found some fascinating insights about them that I’d like to share with you.

Lighthouses

Some of the key features of a lighthouse include:

A Tower: The main part of the lighthouse is a tall tower, typically constructed of stone or concrete. The tower is cylindrical or conical in shape, and its height can vary depending on the location and terrain.

A Light source: At the top of the tower, there is a lantern room that houses the light source. Traditionally, the light was produced by a lamp fueled by oil, but nowadays, lighthouses typically use electric bulbs. The light is usually focused by a lens or series of lenses to create a beam that can be seen for several miles.

A Fresnel lens: A key component of the lighthouse is the Fresnel lens, which is a type of lens designed to focus light into a beam. The lens is usually made up of a series of concentric prisms, each with a slightly different angle. This design allows the lens to bend light and produce a powerful, concentrated beam.

A Daymark: In addition to the light, the lighthouse typically has a distinctive color pattern or marking, known as a daymark. The daymark helps ships identify the lighthouse during daylight hours and distinguish it from other nearby structures.

A Foghorn: Many lighthouses also have a foghorn, which is a loud horn that emits a deep, low-pitched sound to help ships navigate in foggy conditions.

A Keepers' Quarters: Historically, lighthouses were staffed by keepers who lived on-site to maintain the light and other equipment. As a result, many lighthouses have attached living quarters, which can be simple or elaborate depending on the location and the time period.

Overall, the combination of these features makes lighthouses important navigation aids for ships and an iconic symbol of the maritime world.

If you want to know how powerful a lighthouse is, checks its rating in two ways—nautical miles and candlepower. Nautical miles is the distance by miles out to see that its light is visible. Candlepower is a  measure of luminous intensity, equal to 0.981 candelas.

Did you know that there are 17,800 lighthouses in 250 countries throughout the world, 680 of which are in the United States? Many of these notable lighthouses have unique features, history, and significance. I scoured the internet for information on the tallest, brightest, and oldest.

In determining the height of a lighthouse, the measurement is typically from the ground to the top of the lantern room. However, some measurements include the extra 3 to 6 feet of the lightning rod. So, do the math if you see different heights listed for the same lighthouse.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the tallest lighthouses in the world are:

Jeddah Light: Located in Saudi Arabia, the Jeddah Light is the tallest lighthouse in the world at 436 feet (133 meters) tall.

Maritim Strandhotel Travemünde: Located in Germany at 390 feet (119 meters) tall. Its light beacon is at 374 feet (114 m).

Île Vierge: Located in France, Île Vierge is the second tallest stone or traditional lighthouse in the world at 269 feet (82 meters) tall.

For those in the US, the tallest lighthouse is the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse in North Carolina at 193 feet.

Brightest lighthouses in the world:

Hercules Tower: Located in Spain, the Hercules Tower is considered the brightest lighthouse in the world, with a range of 32 nautical miles (59 kilometers).

Cape May Lighthouse: Located in the United States, the Cape May Lighthouse is considered the second-brightest lighthouse in the world, with a range of 24 nautical miles (44 kilometers).

Oldest lighthouses in the world:

Tower of Hercules: Located in Spain, the Tower of Hercules is the oldest lighthouse in the world, with a history dating back over 2,000 years.

Pharos of Alexandria: Located in Egypt, the Pharos of Alexandria is considered one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World and was also one of the oldest lighthouses, but it was destroyed by earthquakes in the 14th century.

Please search online for more fascinating details about lighthouses. Many of them have their websites with information about their history, features, and visitor information.

Being a Lighthouse

By providing guidance, support, and inspiration, lighthouses and people alike can help others navigate the challenges of life and find their way towards safety, comfort, and success. Here are some examples of how people are lighthouses:

Mentoring: By sharing their knowledge and experience, mentors guide and inspire others to reach their full potential. Dead or alive, they offer advice, support, and guidance to help someone navigate the challenges of their personal or professional life. You can even mentor someone. You can mentor in person or virtually through zoom meetings, phone calls, WhatsApp or via any other preferred mode of communication. Look around you or gaze far away from you. Just be a lighthouse. Mentor.

Counseling and therapy: Mental health professionals can be a lighthouse for individuals who are struggling with emotional or psychological issues. By providing support, empathy, and practical tools, therapists can help their clients navigate difficult situations and find their way toward healing and growth. IF this is your forte, do it for work and consider using your skills to help the needy pro-bono. If this is NOT your forte, please stay in your lane. This would be one of those instances where you cannot be a lighthouse but can be a candle. Take pride in being a candle and let your light shine, as a candle.

Leadership: Effective leaders can be a lighthouse for their team or organization by setting a clear vision, providing guidance and support, and inspiring others to work towards a common goal. A good leader can help their team navigate through challenges and achieve success. You don’t need a leadership title to lead. You just need to look around you for what needs to be done and done right. Do so. The safety and success of others may depend on the light from you as a lighthouse.

Emergency responders: Often, police, firefighters, and other emergency responders are a lighthouse for people in crisis by providing safety, comfort, and assistance during emergencies. They help people navigate dangerous situations and provide a beacon of hope during times of chaos and uncertainty. This is an appreciation inclusion. Are you in any of these categories? If yes, thank you for being a lighthouse for the rest of us.

Parents and caregivers: Parents and caregivers can be a lighthouse for children by providing love, support, and guidance as they navigate the challenges of growing up. They help children develop the skills and resilience they need to thrive in the world. Every adult can do this for children whose paths intersect with yours. For non-biological children, your support and guidance may be transient, but its impact can be far-reaching, extending to multiple areas of their lives and for the rest of their lives. You are a lighthouse. Be a lighthouse.

Being a Candle

But our North African proverb says that “if you cannot be a lighthouse, be a candle.” It hints at the fact that not everyone is capable of being a lighthouse. Not everyone will get to loom above everything and everyone else and be visible from miles away. Not everyone will be able to stand tall and immovable while buffeted by winds and waves. Not everyone will get to be able to influence as many people as will be in the massive and multiple sea vessels that will rely on a lighthouse’s guiding light for safety. But those who cannot be a lighthouse can be a candle. And while candles may not be as bright or as powerful as lighthouses, they can still light up a room, provide comfort during difficult times, and bring people together.

Thus, in a world that can often feel overwhelming and full of negativity, being a candle can make a lot of difference. The light may not have the reach of the nautical miles of a towering lighthouse but being a candle requires using our resources and abilities to make a positive impact on the world, no matter how small that impact may be. Every act of kindness, however small, has the power to create a ripple effect of positivity that can spread far and wide.

Here are reminders of how you can continue to be a candle in our world:

Share your talents and skills: If you have a talent or skill that others can benefit from, share it with them. Teach someone a new skill, help them with a project, or offer your expertise in a particular area. Don’t be paralyzed into action by the fear of putting yourself out there. As a candle, you would be dispelling darkness nonetheless. You would be using your talents and skills, which are not solely for your use in the first place. They were a gift to you to use for yourself and in service to others. Intended to be shared, you need to commit to sharing them. Try volunteering to give back of your time and resources to help others. Volunteering can make a big difference in their lives and in yours. Go online and find a cause or organization that you're passionate about. Contact them and ask to speak with someone. Offer your support in any way you can. Why sit or wallow in darkness? Light up. Be a candle.

Spread kindness and positivity: Make someone's day. Smile at strangers, compliment someone, or do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return. The lyric of a song says that “There is a candle in every soul; some brightly burning, some dark and cold.” Is the candle in your soul blazing or has it gone dark and cold? Let it burn bright. Warm spaces and people with its glow. Lighten gloomy places with its light. Use your words to dispel doom from settling in people’s hearts. Speak to and about others in ways that will brighten and cheer your hearers. Speak of your life in ways that will uplift and ennoble. Foster growth by giving the space for others to fail. When they do, give them the grace to get up and go on. We share the world with bad people and bad things will still happen. But do not be engulfed by darkness or give it the opportunity to thrive wherever you are. Be a candle and shine.

Be a good role model: The way you conduct yourself can have a significant impact on those around you. Be a positive role model by demonstrating integrity, compassion, and respect in your words and actions. More people are watching you than you are aware of, especially impressionable children.

AN APPEAL

The clarion call of this proverb is for everyone. It’s for you. It’s for me. “If you cannot be a lighthouse, be a candle.” Let your light shine as softly or as brightly as you are capable of. Watch out and be the light for people. Sometimes, all a person needs is someone to listen to them and offer a kind word or a helping hand. Be there for your friends, family, and colleagues when they need someone to talk to or a shoulder to lean on. Learn to identify signs of distress in people. Learn the universal signals that can let you know when someone is in danger.  Put yourself in the shoes of others and be a human being to all. In fact, let your words and actions be a template for how to treat others. That would be you being a light, however soft your glow, however short its range. Again, no harm in being a lighthouse and no shame in being a candle. Just be one. And let the light shine from you to brighten, cheer, and give warmth.

LET’S TALK

Whether as a candle or a lighthouse, how are you letting the light in you shine? Share in the comments section?

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From the beautiful country of Myanmar comes this thought-provoking Burmese proverb that: "Though the centipede has one of its legs broken, this does not affect its movement." The proverb is a powerful reminder that accidents are real and the injuries they cause may result in great loss. At the same time, the losses that we experience can also activate resilience and adaptability in us. The proverb presumes that we will continue to deal with challenges and adversities, but that setbacks need not set us back, unless we choose to stay back for whatever reason.

Since the proverb used the centipede to make its point, it seems fitting to begin the reflection with a deeper dive into the interesting animal.

The Centipede

Centipedes are arthropods, which means they have segmented bodies and jointed legs. Each segment bears a pair of legs, and depending on the species, can result in a total of 30 to 354 legs.

Centipedes can be found in most parts of the world, except for Antarctica. They are particularly diverse and abundant in tropical and subtropical regions. They also look a lot like their close cousins, millipedes. You have likely mistaken one for the other since they are so populous and prevalent. According to the Carnegie Museum of Natural History, there are more than 3,000 known and an estimated 8,000 species of centipedes. In contrast, there are more than “7,000 known and 80,000 estimated species of millipedes.” Chances are that you’ll bump into one or the other soon, so here’s your opportunity to learn 5 key differences to help you easily tell them apart.

1.     Body structure: Centipedes have long, flattened bodies with a pair of legs on each segment. The legs are positioned on the side of their body. They have a single pair of antennae and a pair of large, claw-like appendages at the front of their heads that they use to catch prey. Millipedes, on the other hand, have cylindrical bodies with two pairs of legs on each segment, positioned under their body. They have a rounded head with short antennae and do not have any specialized appendages.

2.     Number of legs: Centipedes have fewer legs than millipedes. In contrast with the centipede’s 30 to 354 legs, millipedes have between 36 and 400 legs. Some species of millipedes can even have up to 750 legs. Imagine if they had to buy shoes.

3.     Movement: Centipedes are fast-moving creatures that can run quickly and climb vertical surfaces. They are also able to swim and burrow. They will attack and bite when threatened. Millipedes move more slowly and tend to curl up in a ball when threatened.

4.     Diet: Centipedes are carnivorous and feed on insects, spiders, and other small animals. They have venomous claws that they use to capture and kill their prey. Millipedes, on the other hand, are herbivores and feed on decaying plant material.

5.     Habitat: Centipedes live in a wide variety of habitats, including deserts, forests, and grasslands. Some species thrive in moist environments such as caves and even aquatic spaces. However, millipedes prefer damp environments and often inhabit leaf litter, soil, under rocks, logs, and other moist areas.

The Centipede’s Legs

The numerous legs of the centipede are highly specialized for movement, with each segment having muscles that control the direction and speed of movement. The legs are critical to a centipede's survival, hence are equipped with sharp claws and spines, which are used for grasping prey and for defense from predators. Centipedes can move quickly by coordinating the movement of their legs, with some species capable of speeds up to 15 body lengths per second.

If a centipede loses one of its legs, it can regenerate it through a process called autotomy. The lost leg will be replaced by a new one during the next molting cycle, which is the process of shedding its exoskeleton and growing a new one. However, the regenerated leg may not be identical to the original, and it may take several molts for the new leg to fully develop and function properly. In the meantime, the centipede may experience a temporary decrease in mobility or balance, which could make it more vulnerable to predators or prey. However, centipedes are generally quite resilient and can adapt to losing a leg without significant long-term consequences.

Interestingly, our Burmese proverb does not say that the centipede keeps moving after one of its legs breaks. It merely states the effect of the break, which is that there is no lasting impact on its movement and progress. If it chooses, it still has many other legs to support and propel it forward. It suggests that the loss poses no limitation and the centipede can keep moving while the regeneration process takes place for it to grow a replacement leg. It hints at the fact that unless by choice, the centipede can keep moving if it so chooses.

Are You Able to Keep Moving?

At its core, this Burmese proverb is a metaphor for the human experience. Who among us has not encountered challenges and setbacks at some point? Who has not suffered one form of loss or the other? Many have experienced the figurative break of a leg and felt like having earned the right to give up and lose hope and quit rather than keep moving.

I have sat with many through the pain of devastating loss. I have also experienced my own losses at different scales. Some left scars that still throb, some are a distant memory without any lingering PTSD, and others seem gone but light up in pain with the right triggers. When fresh, it seemed the pain of my losses would never heal and I felt that each loss itself would be irredeemable. Yet, I am still here and thriving, a state that have sometimes in the past felt unlikely. Looking through the lens of those times and the blessings that time has helped uncover from each experience, the wisdom of this Burmese proverb soothes and assures, that "Though the centipede has one of its legs broken, this does not affect its movement."

The proverb indicates that even with setbacks or obstacles, we still have many resources and strengths to draw upon to keep moving forward. When the stinging tears of loss obscure our vision, to remember that we still have more than we have lost. The proverb echoes a message of hope and encouragement that each of us can find the resilience to overcome whatever challenges come our way.

Centipedes have many legs, each of which is specialized for a specific function, such as walking, grasping prey, or sensing their environment. This allows them to perform a wide range of tasks efficiently and effectively. Hence, the loss of one leg for a centipede is a great loss indeed. Just as one loss for you can be devastating, limiting, and its impact can be incalculable. But the proverb suggests that setbacks need not set us back; that we can reach within or reach out to find ways of adapting and moving forward in spite of the loss of one of our figurative legs. And that time will bring healing, regeneration, and restoration.

Knowing that adversity is real and can be unpredictable in its choice of who to visit and when, are you resilient enough to bounce back from adversity and to recover from setbacks to keep moving towards realizing your goals? You will be off-balance for a while. You may have to compensate for the loss of that one out of your 36 or the 300 legs that broke. But how ready are you to adjust to new situations—such as the loss of one of your legs, figuratively—and to find new ways of approaching challenges?

Our Burmese proverb offers a powerful reminder of the resilience and adaptability of living beings. Its message of hope and encouragement reminds us that no matter the challenges we face, we are capable of overcoming them and continuing on our path. Whether those challenges are personal, occur within a team setting, or while leading others, our progress boils down to resilience, adaptability, and persistence. However long it takes and no matter how hard it gets, each of us can find the strength and resources to overcome whatever challenges come our way.

AN APPEAL

Knowing that life is full of challenges and does not hesitate to lob curveballs at us when we least expect it, how resilient and adaptable can you be in the face of adversity?

If centipedes are able to continue moving and hunting despite the loss of a leg, and do not let the setback stop them from pursuing their goals, how focused are you on your goals to persevere and adapt in the face of setbacks or challenges?

Should you experience a loss, adaptability may require you to widen your circle of influence to include individuals from different backgrounds and skills set to help you get through your loss while you regenerate and recharge. How adaptable are you?

In today's fast-changing world with its new challenges and opportunities, adaptability may require you to constantly tweak your approach and find new ways of achieving your goals, even if you encounter obstacles along the way. How adaptable are you?

In leadership, a good leader is able to adapt to changing circumstances to guide their team through difficult times. How willing are you to stay focused to press through or around obstacles? How capable are you at inspiring your team to keep moving forward, especially when they encounter setbacks along the way? How adaptable are you?

Think of a difficulty or setback you are currently facing and ask yourself, "how can I still move forward despite this obstacle?" Embracing the centipede’s mindset can help you focus on your strengths and resources, rather than the one leg that is broken. For if one broken leg is not a setback for the centipede, your current setback may be severe enough that you need to pause and rest awhile but should not halt your advancement toward realizing your goals. So set a timeline to manage the setback knowing that you can regrow your broken leg. After sufficient rest, continue your journey toward advancement. However wobbly your next steps may be with the loss of one leg, just keep moving forward like the centipede toward your goals.

What goal challenges you and requires perseverance to achieve? Anticipate obstacles. Budget for setbacks. Whether it's learning a new skill, dealing with the loss of a loved one, a resource, an opportunity, or any other essential part of you, or it’s starting a new project, or overcoming a fear, commit to seeing a goal through to the end. Even when things get tough. Especially when things get tough.

Every day, one centipede somewhere in the world breaks a leg. Every second, we are at risk of loss, pain, and setbacks. Whenever life hands you lemons, whenever you feel discouraged or face setbacks, remember the centipede and get inspired to keep moving forward. With resilience and determination, anything is possible. Even you can keep moving though one of your many legs get broken. Persevere through the pain. Press on toward your goal!

LET’S TALK

What inspiration are you taking from this proverb to deal with any current loss or challenge that threatens to set you back? Share in the comments section.

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Life is a journey and everyone is traveling. We move at different paces, and we journey with different dispositions and perspectives. The road is long, making the journey a marathon. However, some people manage only a portion of it, and their journey ends up being a short sprint through life. Currently, more than 8 billion people are traveling life’s long road. Life’s main road branches off in different directions and there are many detours that people take depending on their location, age, personality, passions, spiritual, economic, cultural, or academic persuasions, gender, size, or a host of other reasons. Whatever the number of years each person gets to enjoy on earth, there is but one end to everyone’s journey—death. Between birth and death, there will be countless options of which roads to take and travel. It can be confusing and difficult to choose. The endless possibilities can be paralyzing and stall needed growth. The elders of Bangladesh contributed their wisdom to aid the process of deciding the roads to take in this Bengali Proverb that: “Even when many people attempt to travel the same road, there are some who walk and some who stumble.”

The elders who gifted this proverb used simple terms in a matter-of-fact language so that what you read is what they meant for you to grasp—there will be different experiences for people on the same path. The proverb also doesn’t sugarcoat how the experiences of travelers will differ. It presents the differences from an observer’s perspective of what happens continually to travelers on the road—there are some who walk and some who stumble.

In addition, the proverb acknowledges that life’s long road diverges into several side streets. It presumes that you are contemplating getting on or are already on one of those side streets. It leaves out those who are not on the road you’re traveling or interested in. Nor does it address those who started but have given up on their journey. Instead, the proverb’s focus is on those who are in motion and categorized these people into two groups—those who walk and those who stumble.

Also, our Bengali proverb focuses not on the road, but the people traveling on it. As a result, we don’t know how long the road is or if it is bumpy or smooth. All we know is that, either because of the condition of the road or the circumstances around the people traveling on it, there are some who walk and some who stumble. It presents stumbling as a reality, a fact that many champions know too well. Ask elite runner Lasse Viren who represented Finland at the Munich Olympics in 1972. Lasse stumbled and fell hard on the track while in 5^th place before the midway point of his 10,000-meter race. But he quickly got up and kept running. He ended the race as an Olympic gold medalist. Similarly, Mo Farah, the British long-distance runner, also fell while competing in the 2014 New York City Half Marathon during the sixth mile. He quickly got up and continued moving, which allowed him to finish in second place. More recently at the 2021 Tokyo Olympics, Sifan Hassan, a Dutch long-distance runner stumbled over a fallen runner in her path and fell hard. The fall set her back to last place in the 1,500-meter heat. Amazingly, she quickly got up and powered past 11 other runners to finish first. Later that day, she went on to win gold in the 5,000-meter race.

Whoever came up with this proverb would like you to look closely at travelers on any road. To pay attention to the motion, pauses, and brief stops that sets apart those in motion who keep going, however slowly. To note how even when they get tired, they choose to keep walking. How they may get wounded but keep putting one painful step before the other and keep walking. You may find some who seem unsure of what lies at the next turn of the road or are unsteady on their feet but who set their minds to the journey and keep walking. Some may have found the road longer and rougher than they thought when they started but they can’t imagine doing anything else than to keep moving. Even the ones who underestimated their stamina and readiness for the road seem to have determined to keep moving and are getting stronger with each step. You don’t know what motivates each person on the road, but you see people who are set on movement and are not stopping.

But then you also notice people stumbling. You can’t tell why but you see people almost sprawled on their faces. You hear echoes of cries of pain and you see people stumbling and tumbling. Some are caught just in time before they fall into danger. You can see that there are things on the road that trip people up and causes them to stumble. And what you see makes you afraid to travel on the same road or reluctant to travel at all. 

Giving in to that fear will keep you on the long, main road that leads from birth to death. It is a road of bare minimums, boring routines, underperformance, and underachievement that you can coast through. It doesn’t require you to attempt much; just eat, sleep, play, and build castles in the air. You can wake up every day, rinse, and repeat the same thing over and over.

Or you can choose to get on any of the side streets off that main road and travel on it till you link with other roads till the end of your life’s journey. Every road you will follow has bends and curves, twists, and turns, and will be in different conditions. You may even need to blaze a trail where there was previously no road.  But as surely as the sun comes out and the moon is a fixture in the skies, if the road you must travel is long enough, you will walk and you will stumble.

The Bengali elders want you to accept that fact and use the knowledge to focus on these 3 As:

1. Altitude

2. Attitude

3. Aptitude

Altitude. Relevant definitions of this fancy word from Merriam-Webster include “position at a height” or “a high level (as of quality or feeling)”. In the context of this proverb, the word is relevant to indicate a higher level you’d like to reach from where you are now. Several roads lie before you that you can take to cover the distance between you and your desired end point. Some of the roads are proximal to your current location—for instance, a local university versus one overseas or in another state from you; a job that’s about twenty minutes’ drive away or remote versus one that’ll involve relocation. Whatever our profession, passions, and preoccupation, we all have desired higher altitudes in different areas of our lives—deeper relationships, better health, stronger finances, more frequent utilization of your skills, improved time management, pursuit of passions, completion of abandoned projects, or the start of a new one. Why be a fossil when you can dare more and do more? A higher altitude is possible for everyone at any age. Strive higher in one area where you’re coasting at a lower elevation that your skills and capabilities have caused you to outgrow. Become one of those people our Bengali proverb describes as the “many who attempt to travel…”

Aptitude. You have natural abilities, the capacity for learning, and a general suitability for what it will take to travel from your current location to a higher elevation. You can recall things you’ve learned in the past. You can unlearn the things you know do not serve you. You can also learn new things to become a better traveler as you embark on your journey. According to the Bengali elders, in your learning, you will walk and you will stumble. On your journey, you will walk and you will stumble. You may find yourself more easily distracted while learning. Or unable to grasp new information as quickly as in the past. You can walk on new and unfamiliar roads. You can learn to do so with steps more secure than you start with. Stumble along at the early stages, but do not underestimate your aptitude and quit. Keep moving.

Attitude. Movement is an activity. And attitudes, which is how we think, feel, or are prone to behave, contribute significantly to drive activities. Good or positive attitudes contribute to growth, progress, and lots of great outcomes but a bad attitude is a downer and a killer. John N. Mitchell famously said that “a bad attitude is like a bad tire. You can’t get anywhere until you change it.” The desire to get from where you are to a higher altitude can fuel you with adrenalin. That excitement about your desire can fire you up for an aptitude check as you take stock of what you have, what you need, and work hard to close the gaps by acquiring new knowledge. But the Bengali proverb warns that “Even when many people attempt to travel the same road, there are some who walk and some who stumble.” And you know that the likelihood of that happening to you on an unfamiliar and a longer road is high. Hence, you may need to adjust your attitude before you set out on your travel and as you travel.

Here are 7 possible areas to explore for an attitude check and/or adjustment.

1. Have you determined that you are traveling on the right road? No guesswork about whether you’re headed in the direction of where you’re to be?

   • Then move on. You will walk. You will stumble. Don’t fumble.

2. Is there mindless chatter around you that you find distracting or annoying?

   • Just move on. You can walk. You may stumble. Don’t grumble.

3. Did the elements turn adverse on you and storm clouds now darken your path with its chill and sounds?

   • Please move on. You can walk. You may stumble. Ignore the rumble.

4. Did a fellow traveler trip you up and you found yourself scarily flailing in midair?

   • Get back up. You may have stumbled. You may have tumbled. But you can walk. Move on.

5. Did recollections of previous falls on other roads you traveled in the past cause you to lose your footing?

   • You may have stumbled. Don’t mumble. You can walk. Keep moving.

6. Do you find yourself ahead of every other traveler on the road you’re run?

   • You can walk. You may stumble. Stay humble. Keep moving.

7. Are you tired of the mazes of intersecting roads, frequent delays, and doubt whether you should keep moving?

   • Make sense of the jumble. You will stumble. You can walk. Just keep moving!

AN APPEAL

Many will attempt to travel the same road at the same time as you. It’s a given that what happened to every traveler previously on other roads will happen again—some walked, some stumbled, some turned back enroute to another road, and some stopped traveling altogether. If it happened to others, it can happen to you.

In response, don’t stop traveling. Don’t pack by the roadside. Stop to rest and catch your breath but don’t quit. Don’t stop moving. Don’t lose momentum. Don’t give in to the urge to dart off one road once you stumble to try out another and end up not completing any. Stumbling goes with the territory of road travel. Factor it into your plans, rally from it, and move on. Choose your roads carefully so you can be on the right one. Stretch your aptitude to prepare for every travel to the best of your ability. But more importantly, travel with the right attitude for any road you travel. Before you get on the road and while there, let this Bengali proverb remind you that you will walk, that you will stumble, but you can make it through. Whatever happens on the many roads you must travel, please give yourself the grace to enjoy the journey as you look forward to the destination.

May you always move on from your stumbles and always get up from any tumble.

Peace and love to you.

LET’S TALK

Are you walking or stumbling on any road that all indications point to as a right path for you at this time? How can you encourage or challenge yourself to stay on track and keep moving, however slow or painful your progress?

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Welcome to another edition of Proverbs on Blast. A special welcome to new subscribers who signed up in the last week. I appreciate your trust and look forward to learning from you as you share your wisdom in the comments section.

To all, come with me to Ethiopia for a deeper dive into their one-line nugget of wisdom: “The frog, wanting to be an elephant, swelled up until he burst.” They gave us a proverb that takes us back to the animal kingdom for reflection. The parties in this proverb are similar to those of an earlier post about the hippo and the river bird. Where the focus of that proverb was on the bigger animal—the hippo—the focus of this proverb is on the smaller animal—the frog.

At its core, this proverb identifies the problem of wanting to be something else. In a bid to uncover the deep insights that the Ethiopian elders share, I deconstructed their sentence into four sections, then probed what each section offers for reflection to get you started on your own reflection.

1)    The frog

2)    wanting to be an elephant

3)    swelled up

4)    until he burst.

The frog is a common term that we use a lot in literal and figurative terms. But how much do we really know about frogs? I learned a lot from the collections of amazing frog facts by Deborah Tukua, James Israelsen, and Wikipedia. Click the links to get more of what they shared than I have included in this post.

1. The Frog

One of the most common animals in the world, there are frogs in every continent, except Antarctica, which is too cold. This profusion, their population, and the fact that there are more than 6,000 species of them increases the likelihood that most people would have seen a frog by their fifth birthday. Except for Antarctica residents. Frogs live on land and in water. They have addresses in trees and in ponds. Many are green, but there are also red, orange, yellow, blue, purple, and multi-colored frogs with stripes, spots, or other patterns. Their home address determines their coloration, which they mostly use to blend in for survival or stand out in warning about their toxicity. They even have varied colors and patterns of eyes. Their eyes are bulging and sit atop their heads like the hippo’s with an almost 180-degree range of vision.

Most frogs are harmless but they all have teeth on the roof of their mouths that certain species will use to bite if they feel threatened. Those, like the poison dart frogs and golden poison frogs are, as the name implies, poisonous. Usually, the poisonous breeds have bright colors like orange, which serves as a warning of their toxicity. Some of them are among the most poisonous animals in the world. So, if you bump into one, keep moving fast and far away.

Frogs are carnivorous and feed on bugs, insects, slugs, algae, and other plants. Their sharp nocturnal vision allows them to hunt well at night and their eyes participate actively in eating. So, when a frog eats, it must close its eyes and pull them down into the roof of its mouth to help push food down their throat. They can’t drink water but absorb it through their bodies. They cannot handle too much sun, fierce winds, or too little water. Although part of the same family of frogs, toads can get by without too much moisture while frogs cannot survive without enough water.

Frogs live in community and several of them together are called an army of frogs. They make sounds called croaking and can be loooouuuud! I know this from personal experience. When the loudest of them, the bullfrog, sets his mind on attracting a mate, he can out-croak the other species and be heard from a mile away. Growing up, I had to endure listening to their nighttime choir rehearsals, recitals, and lots of free months-long concerts. Now, I chuckle when I call people who live around ponds and can’t hear a word they’re saying because they’re too close to a the concert stage on a night when the frog orchestra are competing for the grammys. They are loud!

In addition, frogs get around via a variety of movement styles. Some species have legs longer than their bodies. These are the ones that jump, which can be to a distance of about 20 times their body length. In human context, Michael Anthony Powell is the holder of the long jump world record. He earned his yet-to-be-beaten world record in 1991 with a 29 ft 4.25 inch jump. At 6 ft 2 in. tall, that means he jumped almost five times his body length. Easy-peasy for long-legged frogs who do that on the regular. No wonder the South African sharp-nosed frog earned due praise for jumping 130 inches or 44 times its 3-inch body length. In contrast, frog species with shorter back legs can only crawl, walk, or hop.

Generally, frogs are smallish in a range of small sizes. The tiniest is about the size of a housefly while the biggest and heaviest grows to 12.5 inches long and weighs about 7.1 pounds. It’s aptly called a Goliath. Every frog can puff up various parts of their bodies for different purposes. A female may use it to shake off unwanted males from its back. Male frogs use it to attract females. All frogs divert air in the sections of their bodies that they want to swell—mainly their trunk or belly—as a defense mechanism against predators.

Like them or not, frogs are worth a closer look and there are lots more interesting information to learn about them. If interested, visit these sources for more frog facts: by Deborah Tukua, James Israelsen, and Wikipedia.

To wrap up this first section of our Ethiopian proverb, I scoured online for images of uncommon frogs. I selected the 9 below, mainly because I haven’t seen many of them before. Test your knowledge of frogs in the gallery below. How many types of frogs do you recognize?

Here are the names of the photographers who have graciously allowed the public to use their images at no cost. Some of them included the types of frogs they photographed. Others did not (#2, #3, #6), which gives us the opportunity to find out on our own. Please share in the comments section if you know.

The photographers get their due credit for generously sharing their talents with the world. So, moving L-R on each row, from the top (yellow-speckled), here is the list:

1. Panamanian Golden Frog. Image by Uschi

2. * White Frog. Image by Cassidy Marshall

3. * A Toad. Image by McAngulo

4. Mediterranean Tree Frog. Image by Filip Kruchlich

5. European Fire-Bellied Toad. Image by Josch13

6. * A Toad. Image by Deborah Ferolito

7. Tomato frog. Image by Monika

8. Pond frog. Image by Ulrike Leone

9. Pickerel Frog. Image by Jan Haerer

2. Wanting to Be an Elephant

This section of the proverb is in two parts. The first— “wanting to be”— is a state of mind that indicates dissatisfaction with what is and a longing for what is not. Several things can cause dissatisfaction. In some cases, it could be the aesthetics of size, coloration, or body shape. It could also be the manner of walking, the sound produced, or the distance that sound can travel. Ego can evoke dissatisfaction to want to be something else that is perceived to be better by others, lives longer, or is revered as legendary.

In this proverb, the frog was apparently not satisfied with what it is. And for whatever reason, it longed to be something it is not. It looked around the animal kingdom and fixed its gaze on the elephant. Not satisfied to just look, it then chose to want to be an elephant, which is the second part of this section of the proverb.

An elephant is legendary. Many people have seen live elephants. Almost everyone has seen pictures of them in books, photographs, movies, and may even own elephant carvings or plush toys. They are the largest living land animals and their majestic bearing has given them pride of place in cultural depictions of strength, size, wisdom, memory, longevity, loyalty, leadership, and sociability, among other desirable values. So, to get a better sense of the frog wanted to be an elephant, I scoured for basic details about elephants to highlight here. Visit the sources for more elephant facts:

Team AG at African Geographic, Elephant World, and World Wildlife Fund (WWF) all have great insights into the world of elephants. Read more about these amazing animals there.

There are generally two species of elephants—the African and the Asian. There are two genetically different African species—the forest and the savannah elephants. The African forest elephants and the Asian forest elephants are comparable in size while the African savannah elephants are the largest.

Elephants have an average lifespan of 60 to 70 years, with the oldest elephant having lived to be 82 years old. But longevity is not the only part of them that’s comparable to humans. Did you know that humans have 639 muscles in the entire body? Well, elephants have 50,000 muscles in their trunks alone. With no bones and just 6 muscle groups, the elephant trunk is a flexible multipurpose body part that they use to breathe, eat, drink, communicate, feel, touch, hold, and wrestle, among other functions. The tusks on either side of their trunk grows out and they are not born with it. Also, depending on whether the elephant is right-handed or left-handed, the tusk they use more often will be smaller than the other from wear and tear.

On the average, an elephant weighs 260 pounds at birth. Adult elephants weigh between 8,000 to 15,000 pounds and measure about 11 ft at the shoulder.

The heaviest elephant on record weighed 24030 pounds and was 12 ft tall at the shoulder. With this massive size, they cannot jump, hop, or gallop. They move by walking and can pick up speed in their legs up to 15 miles per hour without increasing their stride. They must eat about 661 pounds of food and 42 gallons of water daily for sustenance.

Elephants have poor eyesight but an acute sense of hearing and an astonishing sense of smell. They can smell four times better than a bloodhound and 160 times better than humans. Also, elephants are native to only two continents—Africa and Asia—where they roam in the wild and are a major tourist attraction from far off places.

Perhaps because of its legendary status, the frog believed that being an elephant was better than being a frog. After all, no one budgets for tourism savings to go see frogs. They are so common that they have become uninteresting and mundane. To some, frogs are even a nuisance. No wonder the frog got tired of its own skin and body and wanted to be someone else.

If the frog’s longing to be an elephant was based on admiration, it could have croaked it out. Or sent a note. Or typed it in neon letters in the skies to get it to the elephant’s attention. It appears that the sight or sound or fame of the elephant sent the frog into a tailspin and it chose to take matters into its own hands.

No short-term interview to ask the elephant about how to become legendary. Instead, it wanted to be the elephant.

No appeal for mentorship so it can be like whatever it admired or envied in the elephant. Instead, it wanted to be the elephant.

No withdrawal into solitude for introspection to process its discontent and budding desire. No, it devoted its mental capacity to the desire to be the elephant.

And because it was not the elephant, it decided to become one. Not by using elephant vitamins or lotion. Not by signing up in coach elephant’s fitness program. It simply reverted to convert its default mechanism for attraction and defense—swelling up—for an objective that was not realistic or attainable.

3. Swelled Up

Swelling can be voluntary or involuntary. In the case of the frog in this proverb, it chose to swell up. Its goal was to actualize the desire of wanting to be an elephant. Thinking it was business as usual, it started swelling up.

Whether it was out of envy at the elephant’s massive size, its majestic strides, its loud trumpets, gleaming tusks, versatile trunk, or the loud vibrations of its movement through the forest is not clear. But we’re told that the frog started swelling up.

Whether the frog was frustrated with not being able to do certain things because it was too little, we don’t know. Or anger because it was overlooked whenever the elephant was around, we don’t know.

We don’t even know if the reason why the frog started swelling up was out of imitation—to be like the elephant. Thinking it could become an elephant. Wanting to become an elephant.

The proverb indicates that the frog stopped being happy with who and what it was and wanted more. Which is not a bad thing, if the reason was to want more from itself. If it was to demand more from its potentials and strive to jump higher or walk faster or lay more eggs. Every specie can generate more returns from its potentials. But no, that was not the direction of the frog’s desires and intention. Instead, it thought it could manufacture a mathematical impossibility of pumping up self from a maximum of 7.1 pounds for its breed to the 24,000 pounds of another breed. Even a newborn elephant weighs 260 pounds, more than 36 times the size of the heaviest frog in the entire 4,000 species of them. There was no counselor, friend, or even foe around to knock some sense into the frog’s head and dissuade it from its foolish endeavor. So, it stepped on the gas of its inordinate desire to be more and what it was not and started swelling up.

How did the frog fare?

Until He Burst

Not surprisingly, the frog burst. It fell prey to a foolish, dangerous desire. It perished from the absence of a lack of judgment, wise counselors, and from stoking the mind in the wrong direction. Swelling is discomfiting, whether voluntary or otherwise. The consolation with the former is that when you choose to start swelling up, your body and mind will tell you when to stop. The choice to keep going beyond the point of discomfort suggests having a death wish or being fixated to the point of no return.

Did it have to be that way? No.

Does it have to be that way for you? No.

Let’s leave the frog and now turn inward.

Is there anything about you that you don’t like? Is there any part of you fills you with dissatisfaction when in the presence of someone better looking or more successful? If you’re alive and committed to growth, you should have a few so this is not a trick question. There is no safety in being self-satisfied that we are all there and need not do anything more to improve ourselves. But to the point of wanting to be someone else? That is stepping into the realm of the danger of the frog. Just don’t.

AN APPEAL

Make the time to study yourself anew.

YOU are enough as you are. You don’t need to be big to dream big. You don’t need to get bigger in size to accomplish bigger things. You may be a frog, ordinary and common. Put the extra in the common and be a frog in extraordinary and uncommon ways. Dare extraordinary things. Become extraordinary. YOU are more than enough to get a head start on that while being a frog. Settle into your size and uniqueness. You have capabilities for what you are built by nature to dare and accomplish. Neither is a limitation to success if you study to know how to work with what you have.

It is great to admire what others have that you don’t so be/stay a cheerleader, not a hater. Celebrating others who are more than you are and have more does not diminish you in any way. Instead, it enhances, enlivens, and emboldens to become a wellspring of joy and inspiration for others. Celebrate those who are ahead of you on the racetrack of life. But stay in the frog lane if you are a frog. Don’t waste time to want to be an elephant. Settle into being a frog. Can you be the one to transform general perceptions about how frogs are beyond ordinary? Possibly. Study to find out how you can be an exceptional frog not burst while trying to be an elephant.

What is within your capability? What feats are attainable for you by nature and design? There are several. Redirect your mind to discover what those are. That would be a better use of your mind than applying it to want to be an elephant. Become the one who knows that you were designed with gorgeous colors and with the capability to do what an elephant cannot do. You matter. You have considerable contributions to make. Embrace all that you are and have though you be a frog. Develop what dissatisfies you in and about you. Then show up in the world in your awesome frogness.

And please pass the caution on to others. Too many people are hurting and stalling because of being “The frog, wanting to be an elephant, swelled up until he burst.”

Best wishes to you!

LET’S TALK

What part of yourself do you need to study more to uncover new insights about how you are enough to be a force for good? Share in the comments below.

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It’s the last day of the second month of the year. I wanted to remind you because it’s great to count the days, just to be sure that you’re experiencing each one in ways that count. Also, because almost in a flash, we’re on page 59 of the 365-paged blank book we got at the start of the year. Make some time to assess how you’ve spent your 59 days. Be objective about the successes, challenges, and failures you have experienced in them. Be honest about underperformance of any kind and why. Review your plans and strategy for the year. Preview the coming month. Shareholders of companies are expecting great end of first quarter report of good returns on their investment. As the major shareholder of your life, what, given your skills, opportunities, and resources, should you direct your efforts to in the next month to close out the first quarter of the year? Think about these things.

Thinking along those lines made me light up when I found this Croatian proverb “If you deliberate for too long, you will end up with leftovers.” This is one of the straightforward proverbs that are out there. Its meaning is apparent so you don’t need to do much digging to get its message. However, the proverb is no less profound and requires you to linger in its first part “if you deliberate for too long” to prevent or explain your experiencing its second part. That’s why it made it to the reflection list.

Unpacking the Word “Deliberate”

The word “deliberate” is both a noun and an adjective. I looked up dictionary definitions to uncover as much as possible about it and Merriam-Webster gave the broad strokes of what the Croatians likely wanted readers to walk away with.

As a verb, to deliberate is “to think about or discuss issues and decisions carefully and often with formal discussion before reaching a decision.” Juries deliberate before reaching a verdict. Surgeons deliberate before operating a patient. You deliberate lease agreements, insurance policies, employment contracts, phone contracts, consent for treatment, and whatever else requires commitment of your time, money, or other resources before you give your consent. You’re not likely to jump into signing away your rights without careful consideration and/or even seeking professional counsel. There would be an uproar if a jury refused to retreat to deliberate on information from a trial before announcing a verdict. Deliberation is great. We all do it. We all understand how important it is even if we choose different things to deliberate.

As an adjective, Merriam-Webster expands on its description of “deliberate” as a verb by going deeper into the realm of action, not just thoughts. It offers three definitions, which are all relevant to this reflection:

“to engage in long and careful consideration” or

“to think about or discuss issues and decisions carefully” or

“slow, unhurried, and steady as though allowing time for decision on each individual action involved.”

Hence, whether it is about what to do or how to do it, the dictionary suggests that it is good to be deliberate about both deciding and doing.

In addition, I couldn’t help but scout for proverbs that might shed more light on the word “deliberate.” I found a universal acceptance that everyone’s default mode of decision-making and actions should include deliberation. A Norwegian proverb states that “afterthought is good, but forethought is better.” There is a Dutch proverb that says "Think before acting; and whilst acting, still think." A traditional proverb also chimed in with the caution: “Think late, suffer soon.”

Thus, both dictionaries and proverbs are in alignment with what we know—it is good to deliberate.

Trapped in “Deliberate” Mode?

Interestingly, the Croatian proverb “If you deliberate for too long, you will end up with leftovers.” is also in alignment with the proverbial insights and dictionary meanings. This particular proverb does not have a problem with deliberating. Instead, it highlights one of the risks of lingering on a safe measure that could turn costly by your delay. Its challenge is with deliberating “for too long” not with deliberating at all.

It suggests scenarios where you could miss out on important gains at Point B because you lingered at Point A. Several examples come to mind.

1. You have discovered a need that you can meet. If you act fast on your idea, you can gain first-mover advantage to establish yourself before copy cats crowd into the newly carved out space. But you have been at the edge of Point A with getting the perfect prototype, the appropriate office space or website, or getting the idea to the best possible state for months or even years.  

2. Likely, lingering at the edge of Point A has you trapped in what a Korean proverb describes as “Put something off for one day, and ten days will pass.” Possibly, your vision is now clouded by fear. It is like that you have settled into the complacency of routines and stylishly rationalized that your ideas are not that novel after all. That it’s not needed anyway. Worse, have you sold your idea short to yourself that it’s not ready for unveiling yet? Even if that was true, are you acting on getting that idea ready for unveiling or are you still deliberating on it?

   1. Should you be getting ready to put a down payment on a house but you’re still deliberating on how the economy is not stable and thus not a good time?

   2. Should you sign up to write that certification exam but you’re still deliberating on the implication of how long ago you graduated from college and are now too old?

   3. Should you be writing pages of your book every day but you’re still deliberating on other authors’ sales numbers and how they’re more popular?

   4. Should you be perfecting your experiment but you’re still deliberating on who is the most educated person to attempt what is clear to you but they can’t even see?

   5. Should you be filling out forms to register your company but you’re still deliberating on which company’s case study is the most interesting or terrifying read?

   6. Should you be applying to graduate schools but you’re still deliberating on the rejection numbers of the universities that offer your program of interest and how you may not qualify?

   7. Should you be scheduling an appointment to your doctor now but you’re still deliberating on whether that persistent nagging pain will go away on its own?

By all means, seek counsel on a new idea or step you must take. Read a reasonable number of relevant books. Talk to the humans that can help you—mentors, friends, parents, instructors, neighbors, there’s no limit. But more importantly, set a timeline for action and do not linger at the stage of amassing information. A full meal awaits on the other side of deliberation. Do all in your power to move in the direction of the table where you’ll get to enjoy that full meal by acting on your idea. Press forward, however gingerly the steps you’ll start with. Ask friends to help you. Find family members that will support you. There are even strangers on social media that seek out opportunities to pay forward benefits they have received in the past that will be willing to guide you. Really, the ball is in your court. It is good to deliberate, but “if you deliberate for too long, you will end up with leftovers.”

AN APPEAL

Someone told me this week that the weather is not favorable to launch his idea. He meant it in the figurative sense. Whether literally or figuratively, what does it matter what the skies release or have in store? Rain, sunshine, snow, or sleet, there is always a full meal that awaits those who act rather than wait indefinitely for what they hope will be favorable weather. And however much it rains on you, no wild banana tree will grow on your head. What’s your excuse?

Also, how much should it matter what obstacles are in your path by nature, design, or outright mischief? An Egyptian Proverb reminds that “a beautiful thing is never perfect.” Rather than linger in deliberation over what stands in your way, a North Africa proverb reminds that “activity is the spring of life” and a Greek proverb challenges you to start acting on your ideas because “the beginning is the half of every action.” Whatever it is that you’ve been thinking about doing, press forward boldly remembering the caution of this Burundi proverb that “The fetus that fears criticism will never be born.”

I don’t want you to walk away from this post still deliberating. I want this reflection to get you moving, not keep you thinking. The Japanese proverb “If you think about things too long, good thoughts will disappear.” echoes the Croatian proverb’s caution against lingering in the thinking, fact-finding, or planning stage. So, 3 questions for you:

1. What do you do well and could be doing more of but you haven’t finished your fact-finding on how best to do?

2. What project do you need to launch and have all the facts on how to start (which is usually all you need to get moving) but are still thinking about when to start, where, or even what to wear to start? (I heard this last reason this week)

3. What is a realistic timeline that you can break your planning and activities down into?

Place a cap on your deliberation phase. Pick a date when you will stop thinking, wrap up fact-finding, and close every book you’ve been reading to take the first step on acting on all that information. That way, you’ll be able to continue thinking about what you’re doing rather than what you hope to do someday, sometime somewhere.

It’s the last day of the second month of the year and I feel impelled to remind you of that. May the new month become a time of acting on your dreams. May the rest of the year be filled with activities that will make you feel that your days count rather than you counting the days. Every morning, keep in mind the caution of the Croatian proverb “if you deliberate for too long, you’ll end up with leftovers.” Whatever it is that you need to do, think, but also start acting quickly.

Prayers and warm wishes to you, in commitment to your growth and success. Feel free to reach out if you need accountability to start or keep moving.

LET’S TALK

What do you think keeps you deliberating for too long? Have you experienced settling for leftovers because you lingered at thinking when you could have moved to acting?

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Everyone is on life’s journey, albeit moving at different paces. We all go through changing seasons. We also experience seasonal changes differently, which adds to the variations in our progress during our lifetime. Within the overarching journey of life, there are smaller journeys that we all must take. Common ones include the journey of the teenage phase, those of the young adult phase, midlife, academic, dating, marriage, parenting, health, financial, social, spiritual, professional, and several others. Some of these journeys are short; others are long. if we live long enough, each of us will get to experience the full mix of long, short, and moderate-miled journeys.

Whatever journey you’re on now or will take in the future, consider the general focus of this famous quote: “If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go with others.” I have both followed and disregarded the wisdom of this quote enough times to know that its counsel is tried, tested, true, and to be trusted.

If you were to take the quote seriously, you would need to journey with one other person, at least. In the choice of who to travel with on your journey, a Kurdish proverb offers the wise counsel that, “A good companion shortens the longest road.” In other words, boost your chances of traveling far by not journeying alone, but with a good companion.

What or Who Makes a Good Companion?

The answer to this question is wrapped up in the kind of journey that you’re on. If on a health journey, your choice of travel companion should include physicians. Preferably, specialists in your areas of need. Good physicians that are knowledgeable, patient, and patient-centered in approach. These are the kinds of companions that, however long or bumpy the journey, will help shorten and brighten the distance for you.

The same applies if on a spiritual journey. You want to make sure that your companion is a safe guide who has journeyed the path you’re on before or is on the same quest as you. Also, that the person is willing to see it through to the end and will stay the course.

Even the most well-planned journey is rarely smooth and anything can happen enroute. The weather may change. The road may become dangerous and impassable. Predators may be lurking. Bandits may appear. The elevation may rise or drop. Dead-ends and detours may derail solo travelers or discourage them from continuing. Those who travel with others may find the motivation from their companions to keep going. Or the additional perspective to spot easy-to-miss signs.

At the same time, traveling with others may be challenging. A companion may be the one to chafe at the difficulties of the journey and bring discouragement. They may be the ones that would slow you down. Yet, even with the likelihood of that risk, the Kurdish elders are clear that it is not helpful to go through life’s journey alone. The longest trips may need to start in solitude but are rarely enjoyed, or completed solo. What is key in preparations for trips is not just having a companion, but finding a good companion. Those are the ones that can help shorten and brighten long distances. And, often, the bumpiest too.

Most people know that it’s great to not travel alone. Yet, there is still a major challenge with finding a good travel companion. One that is the right fit for the road you must travel. You are aware that the road ahead of you is long, probably the longest road you will have to travel. You know that it will be a hard journey. But is the nearest person to you the most ideal travel companion because of proximity? Should you journey with the closest person to you because of the bonds of loyalty?

Many of life’s journeys are fraught with challenges. Who has the stamina to survive the long hours, adverse weather, and treacherous roads of your journey that you can choose to travel with you? Who has the right mindset to take in the realities of long, hard roads and will not take off midway from discouragement? Who can see and steer you in the direction of the lemon squeezer when life floods you with lemons enroute your journey?

AN APPEAL

As you contemplate the long journeys you must still take in life, here are pointers to 3 categories of people to consider as travel companions:

1. The Older and Wiser. People in this category have a lot to teach those who are willing to learn. A German proverb warns that “Old age is no protection against foolishness.” However, you will find the right older and wiser people in your family, neighborhood, organization, communities, church, and institutions around you. They may be slower in movement but they are not dull of intellect. They may not be current with the latest trends and technology but they have a lot of experience and wisdom that few may be able to afford in cash. Invite them to accompany you on your journey and you will start benefitting from their wisdom from the travel prep stage. Focus on enjoying the journey and getting to the finish line, and this class of travel companions will ensure that you get there. It’s why a Luo proverb from Kenya states that, “Alone a youth runs fast, with an elder slow, but together they go far.”

2. The Savvy and Humble. People in this category may be younger or older, but they know things that you may not. A Greek proverb says that “age brings experience, and a good mind wisdom.” Find someone with a good mind, whatever the age, and you will likely have someone who has high cognitive acumen, deep and varied vats of knowledge, and a healthy appetite for learning. They will freely and happily share what they know while maintaining an infectious openness to learn from you and the path you journey together. If there are lessons to learn, you will be able to harvest them in droves with such a companion. If there are blessings to be enjoyed, it is highly likely with such a person.

3. The Positive and Uplifting. Long journeys can be rough and tough on the mind, body, and spirit. With a companion who is positive and uplifting, you will not have to deal with grumbling, discouragement, foolish, and negative talk that have derailed or cut short many a journey of marriage, parenting, mentorship, among others. A positive and uplifting companion is likely to be humble, hardworking, understanding, persevering, and able to pull their weight. So much so that whatever adversity you encounter on the journey, you and your companion will be able to take it in stride and not fly at each other’s throats or jeopardize your safety.

A Wish For You

Again, we are all on one or more journeys at any point in time. According to the Kurdish proverb: “A Good Companion Shortens the Longest Road.” Whether the long road that lies ahead of you or you’re on now is a financial journey, spiritual, educational, health, social, or professional, what counts is not how far you have to travel, but who you have alongside you on your journey.

However tough or rough your journey is, whatever the distance you have to cover, my wish and prayer for you is that you find the right companions to shorten and sweeten your journey.

LET’S TALK

Do you have the right travel companions for the important journeys of your life? Also, what type of companion are you for the people closest to you on their own journeys?

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SUBSCRIBERS: Welcome to new subscribers and thank you to those of you that have been here for longer. I remain grateful for your support of this project. Thank you for believing in the vision. Thank you for helping to advance the quest for wisdom. I appreciate you and look forward to your continued engagement.

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Happy valentine’s day to you.

In many countries, February 14 is one of the most commercially profitable days of the year. The greeting card industry, restaurants, hotels, and all those that deal with any part of the cake, chocolate, flowers, candles, perfumes, gift bags, wrapping paper, and jewelry business chain make a killing. In the last decade, many of these sectors widened the February 14 net to include family and friends in the day’s celebration of love. With more than just romantic partners to shop for, the US National Retail Federation estimates that total spending for Valentine’s Day in 2023 will be $25.9 billion, up from $18.2 billion in 2017 and $16.9 billion in 2007. Fascinating!

I was almost 14 years old when I first heard about valentine’s day in a way that stuck. My class was agog with projections and whisperings of who would give who what and how the rest of the year could play out for valentine day couples. I took the contagious valentine’s day bug home. My mom was surprised. Ever the practical sensible nurse, she started a campaign that re-routed my thinking to higher contemplations of expressing love on a day dedicated to love. “Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could donate blood to someone you don’t know and will never know?” she asked slyly. “Especially since you prefer shots to pills?”  “You won’t get a thank-you but you’ll feel good from knowing you saved a life.”

Over the next three weeks, she lit a fire in my heart with touching descriptors of how I could gift the life-giving red liquid that I had in abundance, because she knew she fed me well. She illustrated how donating to a stranger in need could capture the intent of the day better than my classmates’ plans. And I wasn’t even popular in my class, so planning my own valentine’s day could cushion a possible disappointment of getting left out. Beyond the prick of the needle, she was certain that I could make a bigger splash of red in the world by giving blood rather than  in my little classroom. Her reasoning? The traditional proverb that “Love makes the world go round.”

I donated blood on February 14 that year. I was happy I did, but didn’t know how to share it with my classmates in a way that they would understand. Or even talk about it much afterwards lest my well-intentioned mom be misconstrued and mislabeled. She gave me a gift of thinking out of the box that year that I am still grateful for and have applied in other areas of life.

As I thought about the US National Retail Federation’s estimates on Valentine’s Day spending, I decided to dig more into the origins of Valentine’s Day.

History of Valentine’s Day

Overwhelming evidence trace the roots of Valentine’s Day to an Ancient Roman festival called Lupercalia celebrated from February 13-15. The festival dates back 2,000 years and was laced with pagan rituals.

Sometime later, in the third century, Emperor Claudius II reigned in Ancient Rome. He was a fearsome leader who sought to win wars at any cost. His subjects paid dearly for that desire, especially the young people. As wars raged, the emperor needed more soldiers for his army. He needed them in training at home and out in the battle fields. In a culture and era when families betrothed their children from infancy, many young men wanted to stay at home to enjoy the celebration and union with their beloved. Claudius considered this legitimate desire a distraction to be quashed, so he banned marriage to keep the young men of the empire focused on defence and security. No more weddings. No more new couples. No more excuses to prevent forceful drafts into the army and sent away from families, fiancées, or new wives.

Legend has it that an errant priest clandestinely conducted weddings for couples. His actions were a direct violation of the emperor’s ban but Father Valentine felt impelled to help formalize the union of couples in love. Not surprisingly, the priest’s defiance earned him the death sentence. He was executed on February 14. There are juicy add-ons about his having fallen in love with the head jailer’s daughter while on death row. Also, that in one of his last activities, he signed off his farewell letter to his beloved as “From your Valentine.” He was executed on February 14.

Sometime in the 5^th Century, as Christianity spread, many found cultural practices of the time incompatible with the principles of Christianity as it spread through Europe. One such challenging practice was the Lupercalia festival, considered through the lens of Christianity to be a mix of the barbaric, horrendous, and downright creepy. By this time, the story of what Father Valentine did and died for—helping couples celebrate and formalize their love for each other—had survived multiple generations. His name was associated with love. His death was deemed a sacrifice for lovers.

History continues that by the late 5^th Century, the church leaders realized that the annual Lupercalia festival was not going to be easy to eradicate. Ahead of the celebration in 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius I decided to Christianize the festival. The legend of the late Father Valentine provided a way out. He was canonized, which paved the way for the church to declare Saint Valentine the patron saint of lovers and change Lupercalia to Saint Valentine’s Day.

Twelve centuries have passed since that change. Some 21^st Century Christians are not over the pagan roots and attempted Christianization of the festival. They would have nothing to do with anything about Valentine’s. Some devout adherents of other religions adopt a similar approach and steer clear of anything Valentine’s because of the involvement of Christians in parts of its history.

Love Proverbs

Leaving history, I also explored the concept of love through the lens of proverbs. It is one of the most common words in every language. It is versatile and encompassing of everyone and everywhere. So much so that families with the same DNA can grow in love while strangers can fall in love and enjoy its highest and deepest expressions in intimate and platonic ways. On the other hand, the use of the word “love” has become trite and its meaning sullied to the point that the fear of love is almost the beginning of wisdom.  

What wisdom do proverbs offer us about love? I curated 15 love proverbs from my reflection.

A Polish proverb says that “Where there is love, there is happiness.” This is believable, similar to the observation of the Myanmar proverb that “Where there is love, there is peace.” Both proverbs capture the sentiments of the Chinese proverb: “For people who love, even water is sweet.” They also sum up the insights in the Burundian proverb that “Where there is love there is no darkness." Hence, you can conclude from the elders in those countries with this Lithuanian proverb that "A life without love is like a year without summer."

Yet, a Spanish proverb states that “Where there is love, there is pain.” As true as that is, take courage from the assurance in this Romanian proverb that “Love understands all languages” including the language of pain. Draw strength from the declaration in the Indian proverb that “It is love that makes the impossible possible.” Remember the wisdom of another Chinese proverb that "Love itself is calm; turbulence arrives from individuals." Act wisely.

In your search for love, accept the timeless wisdom in the traditional proverb that “Love can neither be bought or sold, its only price is love.” Take the challenge of this Turkish proverb to heart, that “Before you love, learn to run through snow without leaving footprints.” When you find love, don’t be surprised to find yourself acting as the English proverb summed up that: “There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.” However, determine to be the earlier reference in this Swedish proverb that “Love has produced some heroes but even more idiots.” When love finds you, remember the wisdom in the French Proverb that “Being loved is the best way of being useful.” And in all instances, act on the counsel in the Congolese proverb that “Love is like a baby: it needs to be treated tenderly.”

It is February 14, a day many have come to associate with love. There’s a lot to learn from the focus of the day, however imperfect its origins or the contemporary commercial efforts that shape it. I have drank deeply of love in many forms. Love truly makes the world go round. Love is a wonderful experience that is worth seeking, worth sharing, and worth celebrating. Valentine’s Day will be here for many more years into the future. Whenever and however you choose to focus on love, I hope you get to enjoy the fullness of its offerings in its most enduring forms. Well beyond this day. Long after the last red heart-shaped, valentine-themed item is pulled from store shelves.

You can feast on heart-shaped chocolate any time you want. You can dine at the finest restaurant whenever you feel like it. You can, and should enjoy picking or giving yourself flowers anytime you want to enjoy beauty and cheer. Whatever you’re going through now, cup your hands like in the image below. Look through the lens of love formed by your hands. The current silhouette of your circumstances may be dark but the sun can shine again. You are worthy of love and capable of loving.

So, here’s to you being your most authentic self in all your relationships. And to being the most loving, lovely, and lovable versions of yourself.

Happy Valentine!

LET’S TALK

Which of the 16 proverbs in this post resonated more with you? Do you have a back story of why the proverb hit home that way? Share in the comments below.

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An Icelandic Proverb dispenses wisdom through its pithy statement that: “Mediocrity is climbing molehills without breaking a sweat.” It’s the kind of proverb that wise people do not get tired of hearing and saying to others, while those on the quest for wisdom benefit from pondering as often as needed. Subconsciously, the word “molehill” conjures two images – a mountain and a hill. A mountain because of the popular saying “don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.” And a hill because it is the second part of the word.

There is no consensus on what constitutes a mountain and a hill. Both look similar and are landforms that extend above their surrounding terrains. Both are hard rocks, formed when tectonic plates collide. Mountains form from the force of collision of the tectonic plates while hills form when the plates pull apart. However, hills are smaller with gentle, rounded gradients while mountains are taller, steeper and do not round off at the top.

Once, the US and the UK defined a mountain as being 1,000 feet or taller and anything lower as being a hill. However, for more than fifty years, the US board has abandoned any attempt at a universally accepted definition of a mountain. They simply use general criteria that include elevation, volume, relief, steepness, spacing, and continuity to distinguish a mountain from a hill. In contrast, the UK and the Republic of Ireland adjusted their official definition so that any summit of 2,000 feet and above is a mountain and elevation below that is a hill. Whichever side of the pond you live in, what is clear is that what qualifies as mountains or hills are rocky summits above the surrounding terrain. Whether their tops are rounded or steep, whether they tower above 2,000 feet or are lower than that, both hills and mountains require some effort to hike.

Wikipedia outlines that there are currently 108 mountains on earth with elevations of 23, 622 feet or greater above sea level. All are located in East, Central or South Asia with Mount Everest being the highest at 29, 029 feet elevation. It is not a summit to wake up one morning and attempt to climb. Nor is it for the faint of heart or the heady of spirit to rush to at any point in time. Mistakes can be futile, and missteps, fatal. Success is based on the right knowledge acquired from intentional study and those who climb do so only after months or years of training. They attempt the feat at the right time of the year, with the right equipments, and in the right company.

In exploring different types of hills, Karin Williams of The Outdoor Federation explained that general types include “the syncline and anticline, which typically form when two different layers of rock push against each other and buckle.” There is also the “mesa,” which is created when molten lava from the earth cools and creates a flat-topped summit. Or any type of hill with a slope steeper on its north face than on its south. When describing types of hills, it is reasonable to expect that the definitions are for standard summits of hard rock that tower above the average human height. Not a molehill.

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, a molehill is “a little mound or ridge of earth pushed up by a mole.” The protruding heap of loose soil comes from waste materials that the animals excavate while building or repairing the mansions they tunnel underground. Multiple mounds form atop the soil, often in lines that may indicate the underground route of the burrow or side tunnels. Yet, however many mounds the moles pile up above the ground, the depth of molehills in general are always between 1 foot and 1.5 feet elevation. Which brings us to the crux of the Icelandic proverb that “mediocrity is climbing molehills without breaking a sweat.”

Climbing Molehills?

This proverb raises several foundational questions starting with what in the world you are doing climbing molehills. Of the hundreds of mountains and the thousands of hills to climb, what would make you think to attempt to climb a mound that’s only about a foot high? Is it to show up and mark yourself present for hiking? Or to show off your skills or muscles as a hiker? On a field dotted with multiple molehills, the tallest would still be the 1.5 feet mounds. So, how many of those Mount Everest type of mounds could make you break out in a sweat? How many could you possibly climb to earn you a pat on the back for not breaking a sweat? Or how long would you spend on a field with molehills that could make passersby hail you a hero for climbing and not sweating?

This proverb indicates that whoever else considers climbing molehills without breaking a sweat noteworthy is operating in mediocrity. The act is not worthy to be considered a feat. The actor is not deserving of commendation. And the cheerleader of such an actor is an accomplice in mediocrity. Merriam-Webster defined the entire mediocrity charade as “of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance; ordinary, so-so.”

AN APPEAL

To expect to climb molehills and break a sweat is a setup for failure. To receive praise for climbing such heights is self-deception. The tired may hail the activity, thinking it is at least doing something commendable. Likely, you are not one to be driven by a misguided sense of loyalty or love to commend someone climbing a molehill instead of training to climb a real hill or mountain.

Equally important, please do not slip into self-delusion to engage in such foolery yourself. Do not flippantly accept praise for activities such as climbing molehills. Assess if you are indeed productive or merely active. Elevate your expectations, activities, and performance beyond the moderate or low quality, value, and ability that is so-so and mediocre.

You are built for high elevation. Please brave real hills and leave molehills alone.

You can ascend great heights with your talents and time. Please get in the right frame of mind and shape to brave whichever hill or mountain you need to climb.

Break a sweat. Celebrate sweating. Strive for excellence. You can climb hills. Just do it.

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What hills do you need to start training to climb but keep putting off? What molehills do you need to flatten or stop climbing? Share with us.

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It’s the last day of the first month of the year. Day 31 of 365 or approximately 8.5% of the year is gone. As you look back, do you find enough in the 8.5% you’ve used up to make you proud and happy? As you look forward, do you have dreams, plans, and courage aplenty to make the remaining 91.5% of the year count? There’s a Yoruba proverb from western Nigeria that offers something to include in your plans for the year. It says that “If you travel far enough you will find hunchbacked squirrels.” 

What is this proverb getting at?

What’s the big deal about hunchbacked squirrels?

How far is far enough to travel in search of hunchbacked squirrels?

Let’s dive in.

Squirrels

Squirrels are popular creatures and most human beings know what they are, look, and act like. You’ll find them in almost every human habitat—yards, parks, schools, any building in rural and urban settlements where there are trees. They are in every continent except Australia and Antarctica. Some types of squirrels are gradually being introduced to Australia as pets, under strict conditions. Generally, unless squirrels become too many and turn a menace, those in other parts of the world are happy to co-exist with them. Hence, it is easy to think that we know all about them. But there are more to squirrels than meets the eye.

Here are 5 beyond-the-obvious cool facts about squirrels that I gleaned from several sources:

1. The Integrated Taxonomic Information System (ITIS) estimates that there are more than 200 species of squirrels, classified into three types: tree squirrels, ground squirrels and flying squirrels. The US alone is home to more than 65 of the different species.

2. The many branches on the squirrel extended family tree guarantees a wide variation of colors and sizes. Their colors range from brown, red, gray, white, and black with several hues of each alone or in combination. The smallest type is the African pygmy squirrel, which grows to about 2.8 to 5 inches long and weighs about 0.35 ounces. At the other end of the size spectrum is the Indian giant black squirrel. At about 36 inches long and 4 pounds weight, it is the world’s largest squirrel. Somewhere in between the smallest and the largest, there are medium-sized types like the grey squirrels of North America. Adults peak at 15 to 20 inches in length and weigh about 1.5 pounds. Their long bushy tails add another 6 to 9.5 inches to their length.

3. Squirrels crack nuts and other hard things that can damage the human teeth. Not a problem for them. They have only 4 teeth, and in front of their mouths. The teeth do not stop growing so they stay sharp throughout their lives. They are omnivores and will eat human food waste, plants, insects, and even small animals. Also, squirrels are flexible and can bend their bodies into all kinds of shapes. When upright, they can stand erect on their hind. When laid flat, they can stretch out flat, leaving no bulge on their backs or sides. Often, they sit back on their hind, hunched with a distinct bulge on their back.

4. Gestation period for squirrels is between 25 to 69 days. Females produce 2 to 8 babies at once and wean them within two months. By their third month of life, their eyes are fully open, they are weaned, and they leave their nest. They move only a little distance, not more than two miles, from their birth nest to start their own lives. I wonder if they have neighborhood councils and family gatherings, since most of the ones in a neighborhood are likely to be related. Squirrels that make it to adulthood can live 5 to 10 years in the wild and 10 to 20 years in captivity.

5. Squirrels are intelligent and can learn to answer to names. They also remember the faces of the humans that they see often. They have excellent vision and their two eyes on the sides of their face allow them to see wide angles without needing to turn their head or body. In addition, their long bushy tail is beautiful, but also functional. They use it to stay dry and warm from the rain, wind or cold. They use it to cool off from the heat, as both a parachute and a counterbalance when jumping in trees, and as a signal in squirrel speak to their kind.

For more on this splendid creature, check out the LiveScience page, National Geographic, and Wikipedia pages.

However, the proverb “If you travel far enough you will find hunchbacked squirrels” is not concerned about the features of squirrels. Knowing how they abound in type and population, the proverb does not also appear to be focused on the types of squirrels or the ones that are close by. Instead, it suggests that there’s a rare type of squirrel that one has to journey far to find. The type of squirrel is not named but it is described.

This proverb seems aware that all squirrels hunch their backs when in a certain position. However, the proverb makes it clear that the search is not a squirrel with a hunched backed but for a hunchbacked squirrel. It gives the impression that this type of squirrel is unique and the one that the other types we see on the regular mimic. Thus, rather than settle for the common types of squirrels around, the proverb suggests three things for consideration:

i) the statement of fact that an unusual type of hunchbacked squirrel exists;

ii) a clue that the unique type exists far from the familiar squirrel hangouts close to home;

iii) the charge that if you want to find it you will need to travel far for it.

1. The hunchbacked squirrel exists. I did not find a picture of a hunchbacked squirrel, but this proverb already addressed that. The proverb cautions me to not assume that a hunchbacked squirrel does not exist because I do not see it among the different types of squirrels in my yard and neighborhood. But to keep my mind open and keep journeying in search of one. When I have traveled far enough, I will find it. 

   Metaphorically, the hunchbacked squirrel to find may be an uncommon way to do a routine task. Something that everybody does without thinking too much about. But for which a hunchbacked squirrel way of doing exists where you are, just unknown or yet to be discovered. It could be an unusual task, an uncommon knowledge, a unique experience, or new sights and places. You may not have found it. No one may even be thinking about it. Whichever of the options symbolizes the hunchbacked squirrel though, it exists. And because it exists, it can be found.

2. The hunchbacked squirrel exists far from home. Rare forms of things exist and are usually not found among their common variants. This proverb alludes to the possibility of discovering rare and unique versions of the common and familiar. Usually, the rare versions are not close by—physically and figuratively. The rare hunchbacked squirrel that you need to find may exist thousands of physical miles away from you. To get there, you may need a car ride, a flight or cruise, a long hike, or miles-long trek. Knowing that it exists though, you are likely to find it if you search for it.

3. You will need to travel to find your hunchbacked squirrel. If someone found a hunchbacked squirrel and told you about it or shared pictures with you, that effort will, at most, prove that it exists. But the person who finds it gets to enjoy the full experience of finding it. If you want the fullness of that experience, you’re going to have to make the journey to find it. Finding your hunchbacked squirrel may require you to apply for a passport, buy a plane ticket, and fly in search of it. Or fill up your car tank, or buy certain books to read with intention. Your journey may require you to take the time to declutter your mind to access the space between your ears for fresh insights and perspectives. Whatever you see and appreciate around you, a rare form of it usually exists away from your familiar and comfortable spaces. If you want it, you’re going to have to go in search of it. The elders who gave the proverb said you’ll also have to travel far to find it. Will you?

   Will you take the trip in search of your hunchbacked squirrel? Especially when it exists far from where you live or work? It’s worth journeying to find, so will you take the trip wherever necessary to find the enhancing experience that can enrich your life and impact for good? The rarity may be on the pages of books. It may be in a new location where you’ve never been. Or in a familiar location that needs to be explored with new eyes to be able to see new sights. Don’t dismiss the existence of something because it’s rare. Don’t quell the curiosity or desire for it because it exists far away. Give yourself permission to think about it, and to plan to find it.

AN APPEAL

Again, it’s the last day of the first month of the year. Squirrels are beautiful creatures in abundance around us. They metaphorically represent the routines, the familiar, and the common things that we have gotten so used to, we sometimes forget that they’re there. But rare and unusual beauties of what is common are often far away, waiting for us to find them.

Does a hunchbacked squirrel really exist? I believe so, even if only metaphorically. I haven’t found mine yet but the Yoruba elders say I will if I journey far enough in search of it. So, that’s my cue to keep journeying in search of finding one. In the course of traveling, I am discovering other rare things I would not have found if I’d been content to sit in my yard and gaze at only the squirrels there. Those ones remind me to enjoy the common and the familiar but to not forget that the rare and the unique exist outside my bubble, beyond my comfort zone, and far from the safe place that I call home. So, I stay on my search. I have the rest of this year and the rest of my life to keep searching. I continue to marvel at other unintended rare finds while my search. Sometimes, they jump out from the pages of a book, a scene in a movie, a sight while on a walk or during a ride, a conversation, or just while deep in thought pondering something else.

In your case, what hunchbacked squirrel do you need to find? What kind of journey do you need to make to find it? 91.5% of the year lies ahead. Will you make the most of it? Why settle for the mundane? Why be content with the commonplace and the familiar? As grounding as those may be, they also easily lull into complacency, underperformance, and underachievement. But you’ve got too much potentials into you to coast through the year or the rest of your life.

What’s the right kind of trip you need to take to get going on your search? Enjoy what you have around you but do not neglect to search responsibly for new experiences. Stay grounded with your good routines but do not forget to expand, enrich, and enhance them with unusual variants and variations. And as great as it is to search for your hunchbacked squirrel, remember to also enjoy the journey during the search.

LET’S TALK

Have you ever found a hunchbacked squirrel? Or are you on a search for one? Share with us in the comments section below.

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Life is rarely still. We’re either running after something or vice versa. In some remote villages in Africa, kids get excited when they see automobiles. Not that it’s their first time of seeing a car. It’s usually because they rarely see one in their corner of the world, and they are just kids being kids. In most of those settings, rarely are the roads paved, and it’s easy for fast-moving automobiles to coat pedestrians in a dusty haze. But do the kids care? No. They’re always more excited about the car, the chase, and the rush of adrenalin from daring the impossible. None of them is a match for the speed of a moving car, but no one can still their joy when they gleefully assess how they almost caught up with the car when they get left behind.

Recently, I heard a Rwandan proverb: “You can outrun what is running after you, but not what is running inside of you.” As I reflected on the proverb, I recalled several scenes of African village kids chasing cars that I have witnessed. Many drivers allow the kids to run behind their cars within a safe distance. They encourage the kids’ misguided zeal at being able to run faster than cars if they tried. For a while, the tenacious kids are able to keep up. But when the driver has to go, he simply steps on the gas and shakes them off.

This proverb says that, in life, you may be able to shake off things akin to tenacious kids that will chase after you. If you move fast enough, you can outrun most things that run after you. For instance, should tiredness run after you before bedtime when there’s still work to do, outrun it by taking a nap or eating. Should failure run after you, try doubling up on your efforts, changing strategy, reversing course, being patient with the process, or getting out of complacency.

Even if you see death running after you in a way that seems more targeted, you may still be able to outrun it by making lifestyle changes to aspects of your life like your nutrition, sleep pattern, stress level, fitness habits, and/or work hours. Some of these changes implemented in the right way, the right amount, and at the right time may help you regain speed to outrun or slow down death.

Back to the African village scene of excited kids running after a moving car, one of your goals as a driver would be to keep the excitable kids in view at all times. For their safety as well as yours. Same as with life, you’ll have to do something similar to outrun whatever’s running after you.

So, when was the last time you looked in the rear-view mirror of your life? Or looked over your shoulder? What’s running after you that you can see or hear? What’s in your blind spot or lurking in the shadows that can easily spring into a run and gain on you? Do you know how far away they are, and how quickly or slowly they are gaining in on you? Do you have a plan for how you’re going to shake it off? Will you know when and how to adjust your speed? As this proverb alludes to, you can outrun whatever runs after you.

But that’s only the first part of the proverb.

This innocuous Rwandan proverb opens up more in the second part. It shifts the focus from what is running after you to what is running inside you. It presumes that whatever is running after you is external to you. While it may weigh on your mind, it is separate from your body. With the right set of circumstances, you may be able to put enough distance between you without making contact. But as to what is running inside you? The Rwandan elders noted that you cannot outrun it. You will have to reckon with it.

There are many things that are running inside each of us. Let’s focus on just two sets.

1) Gifts, Dreams, and Visions.

Everyone was born with a set of gifts that’s capable of being developed for great outcomes. These gifts lead to dreams and visions of what you can become, do, and accomplish are within you. Like babies in the womb needing to be born, dreams must be birthed at the right time. Delayed birth create great discomfort and can imperil the life of the mother. A compressed baby within the womb can jeopardize the health, wellbeing, and life of the mother. Same as your dreams. They are not meant to remain within you in perpetuity. There is a gestation period attached to each dream. After that time, you should birth them. Naysayers may run after you with their skepticism, scorn, or suspicion, but you can outrun their doubts and derision. What is inside you that will run and you cannot or will not be able to outrun? This proverb is a reminder to appraise your gifts, assess your progress, and act as a wise steward of your gifts, dreams, and visions. You cannot outrun them.

2) Mindset, Self-Thought, and Self-Talk.

A popular quote says that “if you think you can, you’re right. If you think you can’t, you’re right. Perhaps you are in tune with your gifts and know what you’re capable of. This section applies to you if, for years, you’ve dreamt of possibilities of what you can do and accomplish with your gifts. But while dreams and visions of those possibilities flashed through your mind, you also entertained several thoughts about why your dreams are not viable. Or why you are not competent to pursue your vision and realize them. For so long, you’ve internalized the assessment of skeptics about your capabilities that you now own the copyright to negative self-thought and self-talk about what you cannot do. You see yourself as a grasshopper while you see others as giants that could crush you.

If that is you, how are you dealing with the restlessness of what you are capable of doing that keeps you up at night and makes you sigh incessantly during the day? You’ve tried hard to shake off the feeling that you’re underperforming, underachieving, and underwhelming even to yourself. You would love to outrun the knowledge deep within you that you’re capable of so much more. But the more you run from it, the less you sleep at night. Even during the day, you’re surrounded by visual and verbal reminders that you can dare more, do more, and achieve more with your life and gifts. The reminders will swirl in torrents inside you. You may run from them for a while but you cannot outrun them.

Have you come to terms with the knowledge that you were born for a reason? Have you embraced the responsibility that you bear by being gifted in unique ways to be positively productive? You are gifted and your gifts were given for a purpose. The dreams you’ve had about using your gifts and accomplishing some good with them were not fleeting fantasies. From the Rwandan elders, why create raging conflicts between what you long to do and what you believe you cannot do? Your gifts will stir you in the direction of the purpose of your life. That is the direction you must run. And the direction towards which to bend your mind. Your thoughts should flow around using your genetic and cultivated aptitude to fulfill that purpose. What you allow your mind to say to you should reflect the awesome responsibility that you have a purpose to fulfill and that you’re busy pursuing it.

Outrun bad things that run after you. But take a cue from this proverb and stop attempting to run away from what runs on your inside. Whether good or bad, deal with it. Confront it. Nurture the good and may your life and influence be a wellspring from which flows goodness for the transformation of others.

LET’S TALK!

Have you figured out what’s running inside you? Are you running in sync, heading in the same direction or running away from it? Do you think you can outrun it? Do you know anyone who has successfully outrun what is inside them—good or bad? Share with us in the comments section below.

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In my part of the world, we’ve had more rain in the last three weeks than we’ve had, probably, in the last three years. It’s been a time of cleansing and assurance. It’s ushered in an era of growth that blankets everywhere around us in a stunning shade of green that we don’t get often. Beauty is all around us. Hope is in the air. Everywhere is clean and clear and beautiful and smells so fresh. The rains have stopped after we got just enough to water our thirsty earth and cool us all off.

A few hours away in another region of the state, the same rains left behind devastation and ruin. Some people’s realities have been altered by the loss of lives and uninsured properties. While we celebrate the cleansing impact of rain, they mourn the destruction the rains enveloped them in. We all live in the same state, had rains about the same time, but are left with vastly different outcomes. As often happens in our lives.

We all get rained on—the rains of health, wealth, friendships, and all kinds of opportunities. Good things on their own, devastating when they fall at the wrong time or in the wrong amount. Interestingly, we can get each of those things by our own power and means. Hence, we install sprinklers to water our plants. Get a job or business to get us money to meet our obligations. We network to connect with the right people. As great and as freeing as those measures are, we exult when we have them providentially rain on us. Sometimes, three hours of rain may release the equivalent of three months’ supply of water from our sprinklers. A serendipitous meeting of a friend may result in greater gains to our lives than from one that we stalk for connection. Rain comes from above, largely without our aid, and often for our gain. It is good to have, in moderation, and at the right time.

For those who are getting too much of that wondrous provision called rain in their lives, a Kenyan proverb offers some hope that “However much it rains on you, no wild banana tree will grow on your head.”

Rain in The Tropics

In parts of the world where the large drops of water that rain down on the earth is warm, it is common to see kids playing outside in the rain. They frolic in pouring ponds and gleefully splash water up in one another’s faces with their feet. As sheets of water fall on and around them, they raise their hands up in the air, gliding in joyous contentment as they get soaked through their clothing. I write from personal experience when I share that the frequent frolic in the rain is cleansing, therapeutic, and provides a golden opportunity to merge with nature. I have been soaked to the bones under the rain before, but I was able to dry up afterward and warm up with hot drinks. The rainwater rolled off, the cold got warmed out, and no plant thereafter sprouted on my body thereafter.

Bananas are among the most common fruits around the world and make their home in the tropics. The suckers easily latch on to the soil and can spread to vast plantations from just one banana plant. Of the more than 2,000 species of bananas in the world, the wild variety thrives in the jungle. Wild bananas grow rapidly and randomly and are packed with nutrients. They are also quite tasty and grow on their own and don’t need babysitting to sprout, thrive, or reproduce. They just need a lot of water and sunlight. However, rain or shine, these plants grow fast and proliferate more rapidly in the rainy season. Left undisturbed, wild bananas will grow to maturity and establish their progeny in as much space as they are allowed.

Rain On You

Using the agricultural reality of wild banana plants as an analogy for the vicissitudes of life, the Kenyan proverb reminds of the reality of rain in every human life. At one point or the other, life will rain on you. People will rain on you. Circumstances will unleash fierce storms that will pour in torrents of rain on you physically, emotionally, and in any other way. Your head as an open receptacle of sunlight may have been rained on. But the Kenyan elders would like you to know that however much it rains on you, no wild banana tree will grow on your head.

Whatever the nature of rain that fell on you, and however much it rained on you, the most that can happen in the aftermath is that you will get wet and cold. The experience can be uncomfortable but if taken care of promptly and appropriately, you can move on from cold shivers to more pleasant times.

Got Rained On?

If you recently got rained on, the rain has, no doubt, left its residue—wetness and cold—on you. The proverb hints at the need for you to take urgent action to manage its aftermath, not get frightened by a fanciful possibility such as bananas growing on you. Wild bananas may be among the fastest and wildest-growing plants in the tropics, but not a single one can germinate on the human hair or head.

So, draw strength from the fact that the uncomfortable and threatening rainwater that fell on you will glide off. Take courage from the fact that you can dry off and warm up. But do not waste a single breath or concern on the fear that rain on you can cause a wild plant to grow on your head. Look around you. Whatever situation or fear is as common and pervasive around you as are wild banana trees growing in the tropical jungle, do not entertain the fear that it can sprout on your head. Conserve your energy. Dry off. Warm up. Look for the rainbow in the clouds. It will get better.

LET’S TALK!

Have you been rained on? Are you cold and wet from the rain’s residue of tiredness, illness, financial shortages, or whatever other setbacks that’s left you wet and shivering? Drop a line in the comments section so the rest of us can see how we may be able to help dry you off or warm you up.

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Subtly, stealthily, the new year has already given us a third of its first month. With about 355 more days to go, I bring you the apt advice of a Namibian proverb for how to get more out of the year. Or out of life at any stage. You may not have made new resolutions recently or even like making them. But no one loses out on passing references to resolutions, goals, targets, and plans or whatever name you want to call them. Thus, it is important to think of the answer to the question at this time: what would you like to have achieved by the end of this year? Or in your life in the near future?

The Namibian proverb states that “Supposing doesn’t fill the grain basket; if doesn’t fill the larder.” In simpler English, the crux of the proverbial statement is that whatever achievement you seek will not materialize without your input. The proverb suggests that the nature of your input will have to be concrete action, not just words or an active imagination. Applicable generally to every aspect of life, the proverb zeros in on tasks related to basic sustenance—harvesting and storing grain. It outlines the tasks to be done—filling a grain basket and a larder.

In agrarian settings where grains are harvested by hand, grain baskets are for temporary collection of grains en route the mode of transportation or the barn, if close by. The larder is the indoor storehouse where consumable grains are stored. These are distinct from grains that will be sent to the market for sale and stored for seeds. The proverb states that both the grain basket and the larder must be filled, euphemisms for the process of getting and storing food.

Your process of getting food may be a job or a business. Or a training program at this time. Your storehouse may be small or large. Whatever the source of your sustenance or size of your storehouse, you will need to take steps to fill the grain basket to transport to your storehouse. In addition, the proverb throws in an unspoken reminder that there is a time to plant and a time to harvest. The timing in this proverb is the period of harvest. The season of planting and nurturing is over. The grains are ripened and ready for harvest. There is only a short window of time to get all the grains from the stalks into the barn. After that timeframe, the ripened grains will either start rotting or be destroyed by adverse weather. The grains will not magically transfer from the stalks to the barn. You are key to effecting the necessary transfer. The proverb reminds that you cannot wish that task away.

The timing that’s applicable to you may be the end of a school term or year. Perhaps it’s the end of an academic program. Or the end of a project at work. Or the end of a long round of negotiations or concept development? You’ve worked hard for so long. You planted seeds and nurtured their growth. You’ve watered, you’ve watched, and have labored long and hard to keep pests and other dangers away from harming your plant. You’ve plodded through doubts, tiredness, insufficiency, long hours, cloudy weather, and myriads of uncertainty. Your hard work has paid off and the worst is behind you. What lies ahead is celebration and enjoyment of your harvest. But it’s not over until it’s over. First, the harvest must be taken in. Parts of the harvest will meet your need for sustenance and become seeds for another season of planting. You can’t afford to leave things out there in the fields for others to harvest or to rot from neglect. Then comes a nagging problem—a flood of “what ifs …?”

On the one hand, your mind conjures up fuzzy images of the harvest already taken in. You can’t help but see grain baskets filling to the brim and striding majestically to the back of the truck that will transport them to be emptied in the barn. You dream about it at night and see visions of it in broad daylight. So vividly that you can smell and almost taste the grains. What more is there to do than to enjoy what’s in your grain basket and larder? Some Namibian elders would like you to wake up because “supposing doesn’t fill the grain basket and if doesn’t fill the larder.” If you haven’t done it, stop dreaming and do it.

Or, on the other hand, you have no challenge with illusions of grandeur. You understand that there is nothing mysterious about pending tasks, we simply have to bend our backs to do them. You are excited about harvesting that which is ready to fill your grain basket and larder. But you suddenly find yourself in the depths of the what ifs?

What if it rains the day you’re to harvest?

What if the skies wait till you’re out in the fields to start pouring torrents?

What if your grain basket gets a tear and everything falls off?

What if there are snakes hiding in the field you’re to harvest?

What if a lion crouches behind a boulder at the edge of your field to attack you?

What if there’s a family of mice in the larder?

What if you can’t remember the answers to the test questions you’ve been studying for?

What if your donor changes her mind about sponsoring your project as agreed?

What if your product launch fails?

What if ...? What if…? What if …?

Real or imagined scenarios can have as much power over our activities as we allow them to. Knowing that we all have to harvest grain in whatever shape or form, how are you preparing for harvest and then just filling your grain basket and larder come what may? When the time is ripe for harvest, and you are the one to get the grain, will you let an active imagination replace the concrete steps you must take to fill your grain basket and larder?

The grain you are to harvest may be the exams you need to write, classes to teach, products to take to market, and a range of other possibilities. Your mind may be predisposed to conjuring up positive or negative thoughts about what needs to be done. From Namibia with love, leave fantasy for playtime. Embrace the reality that real tasks require real action. And whatever “what if?” your mind attempts in place of a pending task, remember that, in the present, you must eat. And for the future, you must save. “Supposing does not fill the grain basket; if doesn’t fill the larder.”

AN APPEAL:

Each of us is involved in multiple things at the same time. Thus, we are almost always simultaneously planting and harvesting. Take stock of what is at harvest time in your life. Avoid giving the “supposings” or “what ifs?” supremacy over action in those areas. Do not be held back by your own imagination or fear. Do not be deterred by externals such as the weather or other people. You will not achieve by ‘supposing’ or ‘ifing’ your way through life or tasks. When real action is required, act boldly and diligently.

May you always do the needful to fill your grain basket and your larder with abundant harvest, enough for you to enjoy and to share with others in the present and the future.

LET’S TALK:

Have helpful insights to share about how you quelled some “supposings” or “ifs” in your life/work during a harvest season? Share with us in the comments section below.

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SUBSCRIBERS: Welcome to new subscribers and thank you to those of you that have been here for longer. I remain grateful for your support of this project. Thank you for believing in the vision. Thank you for helping to advance the quest for wisdom. I appreciate you and look forward to your continued engagement.

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Welcome to a new year! May this year bring the fulfillment of your dreams. May it stretch you, shake you, boost you, and improve you in every way.

A Ukrainian proverb states that “When you enter a great enterprise, free your soul from weakness.” A few days ago, we entered into what can be considered a great enterprise. Ready or not, we’re in a new year. It’s like a 365-paged blank book, waiting for a writer to pen words on it. The opportunity to write in last year’s book is gone and we got a new book. You can write ahead on each page by way of plans or write in real time, by way of living. You can also write afterward, by way of history. The book is quite the operation. As at the time of posting this, you should have filled, at least, two and a half of those pages with content. Did you?

In this great enterprise you’ve just entered, the Ukrainians said to free your soul from weakness. The proverb does not gloss over how you entered the great enterprise but focuses on when. Their current circumstances underscore that. They’ve been living this proverb for the last 11 months. The new year may not have sought your permission or approval to start when it did, but you have entered it and you will need to free your soul from weakness to enjoy it. Here are 3 questions to help ponder the proverb:

1. What weakens the soul?

2. What happens to the being when the soul is weak?

3. How can you free your soul from weakness?

What Weakens the Soul?

There are several culprits that can weaken the human soul. Let’s focus on 3 and how they can poison the soul.

1. Mistakes, failures, and pain from the past. Perhaps you’re stuck in the past. You can’t move on from what you did or what was done to you. You have unhealed wounds or scars that still throb from the pain. You can’t stop thinking about the past and it’s affecting what you see, think, and attempt in the present. This is a soul weakener that can be as debilitating as weakness of the body, or worse. It can keep you from enjoying the present or looking forward to the future. The Ukrainians urge, “free your soul from weakness.”

2. Adverse circumstances in the present. Perhaps there’s no hangover from your past, but your present is unsettled or unclear. Nothing seems to be going according to plan. Your efforts do not seem to amount to much. You are blocked at every turn. You plant, but nothing is shooting out from the seeds you carefully dug into a well-prepared soil. People rain on your parade. They scorn your ideas and treat you with disdain. Life itself seems to wait with curveballs at every turn. You can see that things are going well for everybody else around you. But somehow, you’ve become the face of the billboards of failure, arrested development, have-not, not-enough, and not-going-anywhere. These circumstances are bone-crushing soul weakeners, any of which can make you question your existence, doubt your abilities, and despair about your survival. The pain and confusion is real, some of which you may not be able to even share with those closest to you. In this great enterprise you have just entered, the Ukrainians urge that you “free your soul from weakness.”

3. Anxiety about the future. You waltzed into this great enterprise with no regrets from the past stealing your joy. No pain in the present clouds your existence. Everything is squeaky clean, rosy, and you’re living your dreams come true. But every now and then, you still have nagging worries about the future. Will your children turn out well? Will your parent make it to their next birthday? What if your spouse lost her job? What if you lose yours? Or your home? Will your friends still like you? Will your health stay good into your 60s? Will your wealth keep growing or, at least, stay sufficient for your needs? What about the rising crime rate in your city? Rising gas prices in the nation? Inflation? Deflation? You are a planner and can’t help thinking about the future. When you do, the future stops you in your tracks. It curbs your joy, forcing you to drown it out with something comforting. This Ukrainian proverb says do something different: “free your soul from weakness.”

What Happens When the Soul Is Weak?

Thoughts about the past, the present, or the future can weaken the soul. It can discolor what you see in the world and how you see whatever you see. It will affect what you think about and how you think. Shape how you make sense of the world, people, and circumstances. Whatever weakens your soul will seep into your bones and affect your body. It can poison the wellspring of your mind.

When your soul is weak, you will underperform and underachieve below your capabilities and potentials. You will believe every lie that your mind and your body tell you about what you can and cannot do. Scorners will have a field day with you and may be able to convince you that you’re not good enough or capable enough to do meaningful things with your life. Their words will weaken your soul, which will in turn weaken your mind and body.

Soul weakeners are real, and this proverb does not discountenance their existence or severity. However, the great enterprise you’ve entered will not run itself. You’ll need all your wits about you to make it work and to make it fruitful. To do that, you’re going to have to take care of the root system, a key part of which is the soul. The Ukrainian proverb said to focus on getting the soul to a place of strength. The words “free your soul” places you in the driver’s seat of that responsibility.

Also, the proverb does not attempt to undermine your pain, discomfort, or anxiety about them. But the counsel from the proverb bypasses their reality and zooms in on you, the owner of the soul. It focuses on what you can do, what you ought to do, and charges you to do it: “Free your soul.” It challenges you to not court weakness of the soul in any way. To not allow anything that will weaken your soul to linger, should it visit. And to not allow it to fester or loiter anywhere around you. “Free your soul from weakness,” it urges.

How Can You Free Your Soul from Weakness?

Part of the beauty of proverbs lies in how they stretch you across time and space in search of the wisdom they embody. To answer this question, I dug into the wisdom trove of someone whose writings I I like to read. He was a man who lived around 2,000 years ago, a Jewish-Italian multipotentialite—you know those people whose interests span multiple fields or areas, rather than being strong in just one. They’re contrasted with “specialists,” those whose interests lie mostly within a single field. Well, this multipotentialite guy, Paul, was a lawyer, philosopher, persuasive speaker, erudite writer, scholar, teacher, world traveler, and even made tents as a side hustle. He was charismatic, controversial, committed to his cause, and very convincing with his pen and voice. His friendships scanned continents and he corresponded copiously with the people he cared about.

Close to the end of his life, Paul wrote a letter to his friends in Philippi, Greece. He saw how much they were up against. He saw how the soul weakeners they contended with could rob them of enjoying the full experience of the great enterprise they had entered into. He was too far away to help them directly, so he wrote to them. In his letter, he charged them to take responsibility to free their soul from the things that weakened them.

Here is a part of his letter to the Philippians, in section 4, paragraph 8 that can answer the question of how to do what the Ukrainian proverb urges us to do. In Paul’s letter, he asked them to reframe their circumstances and rechannel their minds. To free their souls from weakness, he asked them to fix their thoughts on 8 things. The words may be almost 2,000 years old but they’re still relevant to you, to me, and today.

1. Fix your thoughts on what is true. Comfortable versions of truth can soothe but only the truth will liberate. The truth may be obscured in relativism, but it can still be found if you search for it. Truth tellers may sometimes be given the back seat while gaslighters get front row seats, bullhorns, and prime time slots to spout their versions of truth. But however admirable or tolerable gaslighting is, truth will outlast and outshine embellishments, distortions, and outrightly deceptions for real and perceived advantages. It’s a new year, the start of a great enterprise. Fix your thoughts on what is true, however uncomfortable or unfashionable. What is true about you and about others? Fix your thoughts on those. What is true about your past history, current circumstances, and future prospects? Regardless of your feelings or others’ opinions, fix your thoughts on what is true about what you can do, if you train and apply yourself to it.

2. Fix your thoughts on what is honorable. In a world of blitz and glitz, going viral may seem desirable but true honor remains the lifeblood of decent society. It stems from the soul and manifests in demonstrable patterns of behavior. You can fake it but fake versions of honor have never lasted. You may be able to purchase it through awards and honorable mentions but there is no cheap alternative to honor. Time always reveals whether awards were misgiven, and honors wrongly bestowed. History bears record of the standards of honor, so they are not rocket science. There are right-thinking men and women of honor who walk, talk, and breathe among us. Study the lives of the honorable. In your own endeavors throughout this great enterprise you have just entered into, determine to live with honor. Start the journey by fixing your thoughts on what is honorable.

3. Fix your thoughts on what is right. What is right may be costly or not easily discernible but with sufficient consideration, it will be evident. Fix your thoughts on what is right, and you will grow to be able to do what is right and also do the right thing even when no one is looking. Especially when no one is paying attention. Fix your thoughts on what is right, and you will be able to discern the shades of gray between black and white that demand wise and humane actions without compromising what is true and honorable. Fix your thoughts on what is right and gain the courage to move on from whatever pain lies in your past, whichever adversity swirls in your present, or whichever form of uncertainty that looms in your future. Fix your thoughts on what is right to stay in the right frame of mind to accept that you deserve the opportunity to make the best of this great enterprise you have entered into. Regardless of your past. Notwithstanding your present.

4. Fix your thoughts on what is pure. What is pure is wholesome and unadulterated. It is not tainted. Going by looks, a glass of pure water will be without obvious particles, sediments, or discoloration, just clear so it runs clear as one with the glass. Going by content, a glass of pure water will hold up its purity under the scrutiny of a microscope as free from pollutants and microbes invisible to the naked eye. By looks and content, you can be a pure human gem of kindness, thoughtfulness, truthfulness, empathy, and love. As a man thinks, so is he. As you have entered this great enterprise, fix your thoughts on what is pure. Become a wellspring of what is pure and ennobling in a world that is often disabling and dishonoring.

5. Fix your thoughts on what is lovely. However black your past, however dark your present, and however gray your future may look, fix your thoughts on what is lovely. Find the bright spots in those time periods. Remember the unexpected helping hand from your first-grade classmate? The kind smile from a stranger in high school that sparked some hope in you? That imperfect idea that flashed through your mind at 7 years old that can be developed into something good at this time of your life? What about the commendation from your boss about the great job you did last year? The vote of confidence in what you can accomplish this year? There are many lovely things that can spark hope in you, boost your spirits, and get you to do something wonderful in this great enterprise you just entered. Fix your thoughts on what is lovely to free your soul from any weakness that can stop you in your tracks or slow you down unnecessarily.

6. Fix your thoughts on what is admirable. What is admirable about your gifts, talents, ambitions, and potentials? What is admirable about your environment, nation, state, colleagues, friends, family, neighbors, and the people in your life? What is admirable about your work, the efforts you put into it, the goals you have set, and the achievements you have accomplished? You will find what you look for. You will become what you think about the most. Fix your thoughts on what is admirable. It will help free your soul from weakness, defeatism, and their relatives such as imposter syndrome and an inferiority complex.

7. Think about things that are excellent. Everyone can cultivate excellence and there is no excuse for mediocrity. Your standards may not be high enough to determine excellence, but you can find mentors and models through personal contact or character emulation through books and movies to learn. You do not have to stumble in the dark about excellence. You can find it demonstrated in history and all around you. Whatever you do, constantly asking if there are ways to do them better and excellently—a more excellent behavior, skills, words, speech, manners, attitude? Free your soul from weakness by fixing your thoughts on things that are excellent.

8. Think about things that are worthy of praise. Praiseworthy things are subjective. But in the company of the decent, honorable, and excellent, what is worthy of praise can stand the test of time. Records of action and inaction are neatly categorized in the annals of history. When cultural nuances are stripped away, whatever was truly worthy of praise will remain trustworthy. In your lifetime or after you’re gone, your actions will come under scrutiny. Your inactions will be reviewed. Will you be found worthy of praise? Go through this great enterprise you have just entered into guided by the answer you want. In Paul’s words, it begins by thinking about things that are worthy of praise. They can help you free your soul from weakness.

Is there something that you ought to do this year but your mind or other people are saying that you can’t? Is there a dream or a vision in your soul that should have been birthed but you are a master of excuses at why you can’t or shouldn’t? This new year offers a new opportunity to grow and be fruitful. Don’t let your mind or another person tell you that you can’t grow or be fruitful. You have just entered a great enterprise. Whatever situation or person has weakened your soul, free your soul from weakness. Make the best of the new year. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

May you gain the courage to do more in this new year. And may you find in it the fulfillment of your dreams.

*** Watch out for an announcement in your inbox before the next post. ***

LET’S TALK:

What is most likely to cripple your soul—the past, the present, or the future? Which of the 8 things to think about is easiest for you? Which seems to be the hardest? Share with us in the comments section below.

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It’s 4 days to the start of a new year. With or without our help, the new year will roll in and the time counter will begin. We will celebrate the special day, thankful that we made the crossover. We will rejoice with others who did, calling, texting, visiting, and emailing others in gratitude that we’re still in the land of the living. In settings where Christmas is not really a thing, the New Year will be a big celebration of thanks. In places that began with celebrations dedicated to thanksgiving and extended to Christmas, the New Year holiday will be the culmination of a chain of opportunities to reflect and rejoice with feasting, music, and sharing of gifts.

The initial part of the New Year will encapsulate all of those opportunities with something slightly more—a combination of nostalgia for the end of a full year and a tingling trepidation about the start of another full cycle of months, weeks, and days. There’s little that’s matter-of-factly about it and lots that’s filled with wonder and excitement. It has a level of certainty about the parts that you’ve probably mapped out, and intrigue about the parts you cannot yet imagine. As you think about the mysterious certainty of the year that will be upon us soon, ponder the counsel of this French proverb: “To perform a good jump, step back so you can jump further forward.” If you understand French, it’s “reculez pour mieux sauter.”

Let’s begin with the 60 seconds between 11:59 pm on December 31 and 12 midnight on January 1. It represents a hurdle to jump. The entire 365 days of the new year that’s just a short while away? It’s another hurdle you’ll need to jump. So will the 24-hour cycle of each of the days of the new year we all look forward to. The proverb says that if you want your jump to be good, start by taking a step back now.

Step Back and Jump Shot

The French proverb translated “step back so to jump further forward” has been used to justify first taking actions that may appear counter-productive but ensures better performance and outcomes. Step back before a jump does not mean retreat, regression, or confer a strategic disadvantage. Instead, a step back in the short term, such as before a jump is what allows you to gain momentum for a good and further jump. In the longer term, a step back ensures rest, recovery, rejuvenation, and relaunch for a good or better finish.

The act of stepping back is both a technique and a philosophy in sports. You learn by instinct, training, or practice that stepping back before moving forward helps build momentum for a faster run or a further jump. Interestingly, the step back before a jump is more common in basketball than in the sports where you might think it exists, like the four jump-focused sports of long jump, triple jump, high jump, and pole vault.

In basketball, the purpose of the step back is to help shorter players get some separation from their jumpers regardless of height and size, before taking the jump shot that will sail the ball above their heads. Many of the greats mastered it and each new generation of competitive basketballers continues to develop the technique.

In addition to the step back being a sports technique, coaches in every sport also understand the wisdom of the proverb and adopt it as a philosophy to design their training regimen. They understand their athletes’ career as a multi-part process that involves the symbolic acts of stepping back and jumping. Hence, there is a time for an athlete to train, a time to play, and a time to rest. The rest period is considered important, and one to be managed by the coach and athlete as a proactive measure to ensure peak performance. For those who play sports competitively on a rigorous months-long schedule through the year, their career and wellbeing depend on the philosophy of the step back.

While you may not play any sport, your wellbeing and/or career also depends on the step back philosophy. Against the backdrop of being at the cusp of a passing year and an approaching one, what do you need to step back from to be able to jump further forward? And how far back will you need to go to be able to make your New Year jump good?

Step Back Before the New Year

You’ve done 360+ days already this year. Those days are worth pondering. The activities you put into them are worth assessing. Also, it’d be nice if you can pause to process where you are now as you think or plan towards where you want to be in the new year. So, step back to reflect on the mental, social, physical, and spiritual aspects of your life. Think about your health, wealth, relationships, work, or school. Do you need to take a major step of taking time off to travel somewhere to recharge to relaunch? Or to simply start sleeping earlier and longer to be able to rise earlier and with the right momentum to be more alert during the days of the new year? You’ll likely not know if you keep going at the pace you’ve been on for month if you don’t step back to find out what you need to be able to jump better and further.

Here are 3 areas of your life to step back on for starters:

1. Your Body. The body always speaks but are you hearing what yours is saying? Do you listen? Constant physical activity leads to burnout, decline in performance, loss of motivation, fatigue, and many other challenges. Reset is crucial so the body can thereafter perform a better and further jump into desired outcomes. What is your body telling you at this year-end before a new year begins? To spring into a jump or to take a step back before jumping?

2. Your Mind. The mind fades out gradually when overused. It stops feeling the spark for the things it normally enjoys and does well. It stops letting in rays of light and warmth that color how we see, hear, and feel things. When the light goes out, the mind can turn to a dark, dreary place that’s a cold and shriveled form of itself. How much light and warmth is your pace, environment, relationships, and habits letting into your mind at this year-end? Where are you—physically, emotionally, and in every other way—and how is your location shaping the type and intensity of light that goes in or gets blocked from your mind? It’s worth stepping back to process. Your findings may help you build the momentum for a good jump in the new year.

3. Your Soul. Different religions define the human soul differently. For common ground, the Merriam Webster dictionary defines the soul as “the immaterial essence, animating principle, or actuating cause of an individual life” or “the spiritual principle embodied in human beings, all rational and spiritual beings, or the universe.” This is the part of our being that functions as the compass, GPS, telescope, microscope all rolled into one. It is the driving force of much of what takes place in our mind and body. When was the last time you took a step back on your soul before jumping into a decision or activity? You still have a few days in this passing year. Step back and look deep into your soul before jumping into the new year.

AN APPEAL

Are you in the right frame of mind and body to be able to jump well and far in the new year that’s around the corner? Make an appointment to review your work or education activities this year as you think about your goals for next year.

There is a minimum standard for the soul of a human being. The actual standard, relative to the minimum, depends on age, intellect, position, exposure, wealth, professions, and station in life. Does your soul meet the requisite standards of a human of your caliber? Why not step back to find out so you can jump better and land farther in the new year?

My Appreciation to You

I took a step back to review my activities for this year, which includes this weekly blog. It’s now 3 months old, a key part of the last quarter of the year. I started writing it for myself as some sort of online journal. Then I told someone about it. And another person. After a month, I worked up the courage to tell more people and post excerpts on LinkedIn and Twitter. Some people told their people, who then subscribed. Then, there are those of you who subscribed because you stumbled on the link somewhere.

This 13th edition is a fitting end to the blog’s first quarter and the 2022 calendar year. I close this time frame with heartfelt gratitude for your support and encouragement. I appreciate your feedback via email, text, and phone calls and take them seriously. Thank you to those who post their comments after the posts so others can learn from your insights. I look forward to growing the comments community with more subscribers posting there so more people can benefit from our collective insights. Thank you all for your support.

My step back to assess the first quarter of this blog allowed me to take a jump shot. Next week, I will share the exciting update with you.

As we count down to the last second of this year, I wish you all the best. I won’t be there when you ring in the new year, but I will be thinking about you as I cross over into January 1. Know that I am grateful for your support. Know that I am thankful for your belief in me and for helping to grow this project. May the new year bring you the fulfillment of your dreams.

See you next year!

LET’S TALK

Were you able to make a difference this year? If you had to overcome feeling small or being told you were too small to make a difference, how did you? Share your steps to inspire and teach us.

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SUBSCRIBERS: Welcome to new subscribers and thank you to those of you that have been here for longer. I remain grateful for your support of this project. Thank you for believing in the vision. Thank you for helping to advance the quest for wisdom. I appreciate you and look forward to your continued engagement.

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It’s the 51st week of the year and we’re smack dab in the Christmas season. In many parts of the world where this holiday is a big deal, it’s cold, and snowy, and starry. The nights are longer and indoor activities are more rampant. Hall lights twinkle and tree lights sparkle. Log crackle in fireplaces and joyous laughter ring out from excited kids at the numerous activities that mark the holidays. This is the case in the US, where people started putting up trees and decked their halls with boughs of holly right after thanksgiving. Rolling out the heavy jackets and sweaters, people have been enjoying the crispy air while whistling and dreaming of a white Christmas. And as holiday plans heat up, many are looking forward to fulfilling their promise of “I’ll be home for Christmas.” So, whether people say “Happy Christmas” or “Merry Christmas” where you are, it’s the season to be jolly, to deck the halls, and to join or duck from others dashing through the snow, if it falls in your location.

The frantic celebratory pace of the season makes a West African proverb seem fitting for this time. It’s one that I heard a lot while growing up and has been popularized by the Dalai Lama. I’ve wondered about his frame of reference; did he experience what the proverb describes or did someone tell it to him? I also wondered the same about a dear friend who sent the proverb to me a few weeks ago as a treasured find. His text made me decide to reflect more on its message. And it made me chuckle as I wondered if he also shared the proverb based on a personal experience. The proverb states that “if you think you’re too small to make a difference, try spending the night in a closed room with a mosquito.”

The power of a lone mosquito in a closed room is personal for anyone who’s spent an extended period of time in Africa. Or in other parts of the world where the climate is conducive for mosquito presence and activities. Three questions shaped my reflection on this proverb:

1. Why was the mosquito made the central character?

2. Is the proverb applicable to everyone or to just a group of people?

3. What relevance does this proverb have at this important season of the year?

The central character is the most striking part of the proverb, hence a need to explore it first. Let’s start with some of its features.

The Mosquito

The mosquito is one of the smallest but considered the most dangerous specie of life. Hippos get a bad rep for being responsible for around 500 human deaths a year. Tigers, bears, crocodiles, and lions also kill in the hundreds and are denigrated for it. However, all of them combined are no match for the tiny rascally flies called mosquitoes that get away with killing an estimated 700,000 humans a year. They are vectors of deadly viruses that cause diseases like malaria, dengue fever, yellow fever, Zika, West Nile, and encephalitis. Just one mosquito is enough to rob others of sleep, and even their lives. No one is safe around mosquitoes, not humans, not animals. Grrrhhhh!

Mosquitoes thrive in air temperatures that are 10 degrees Celsius (50 degrees Fahrenheit) and above. They are at their best when the temperature is between 15–25 degrees Celsius (60–80 degrees Fahrenheit). Out of curiosity, I once compared the modus operandi of the mosquitoes in West Africa with those in the eastern and southern regions of the continent. My conclusion then and now is that the mosquitoes in Ghana, Nigeria, Cote D’Ivoire, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Cameroon, and other parts of warm and humid tropical west Africa are a special breed. The climate allows them to thrive and be active throughout the year. From personal experience, it appears as though the mosquitoes sleep the morning away, then go to the gym in the afternoons for gymnastics and boxing practice. Thereafter they go home to rest a while and prep for their nocturnal hunt for the blood of unsuspecting or careless humans. In the evening, they then march out in full combat mode, ready for all-out war through the night.

Most African houses have netting on the windows, called ‘mosquito nets.’ These help keep the flies out in the day and the mosquitoes out at night. In addition, every child in West Africa knows that dusk, around 6.30 pm, is mosquito o’clock. You hear and see them swarming around, charged, and thirsty for blood. From a young age, you learn to relocate activities indoors from around that time. You learn to keep the doors closed, leaving no crack for the rascals to slip through into the house. The best efforts rarely yield total success, and the west African mosquitoes almost always manage to find their way in. They show up in people’s homes in nude leotards with boxing gloves and straws.

Once in, the mosquitoes whizz around at top speed, achieving their aim of annoying you while flitting effortlessly beyond reach. Their whizzing singsong spells disaster, especially in the dead of the night when everywhere is quiet. You hear one of them in a room with you and you know to kiss any chance of sleep or decent rest goodbye. Should you drown out their sound and succumb to weariness, they will rouse you with their piercing bites. Your captive pores are to them the gateway to the blood supply they must feed on to live. Thus, they land, armed with straws and a ferocious appetite, ready to pierce the skin and suck away with delight till they’ve had their fill, or they’re stopped.

I have had malaria before, and it wasn’t funny. I know people who have died or lost loved ones because of the bite of just one mosquito. Organizations lose more manpower hours annually in Africa to the tiny troublers than to any other source. Mosquitoes are the deadliest terrorists, the most insidious murderers, and the most underrated robbers of time, strength, and health. And they don’t even stop with humans. They go after animals with equal relish, transmitting whatever pathogen they pick up from one victim to another. Just one mosquito is capable of inflicting lasting damage to any human or animal it lands on undisturbed. Thank goodness their life cycle is a short 2 weeks to 6 months!

However, the summary description of the mosquito and what it does in this proverb is merely an illustration of its core message, used for a particular purpose. Which leads to the second question that guides this reflection: who is this proverb for?

Proverb’s Applicability: To All or A Few?

The proverb considered the disreputable, destructive capabilities of the mosquito and suggests a reframing. In the first half, it clarifies that its message is focused on those who think they’re too small to make a difference. Those who think they are too powerless or feeble or inconsequential or insignificant to make a difference. The ones who slink away when there’s a need to get involved in an activity because they’re fearful that they don’t have what it takes to contribute anything meaningful. The proverb speaks directly to those who shrink in their seats rather than raise their hands to share their idea or suggestion because they think it’s not yet fully formed. You know who you are. You know how much your heart tells you to stay quiet, stay out of sight, and stay out of the range of being asked to do something because you’re too small to make a difference.

There are not many things smaller than a mosquito. This proverb specifies that its focus is not on a swarm of them, but on just one and what it can do. You know, kind of like you being one person. The proverb alludes to three things that are important when seeking to make a difference.

1. size, knowing that the smallest human is still several times bigger than the biggest mosquito.

2. space, knowing that a room is infinitesimally small compared to the world where many long to make a difference.

3. sealing, knowing that making a difference can easily be framed only in the context of wide, open spaces that are not closed.

However, if a tiny mosquito in the sealed small space of a closed room can get your attention and keep you awake at night, how big do you need to be to make a difference? In terms of physical size, must you be a heavyset six-footer? In terms of intellectual size, must you have a PhD to make a difference? To make the kind of impact that you desire, how much legitimate power do you need versus using the expert or referent power you already have? If a tiny mosquito can keep you up at night, must you at the size of Simone Biles become the size of Shaq O’Neal or LeBron James to make a difference? Try spending the night in a closed room with just one tiny mosquito to rethink your position.

Secondly, how much space do you need to make a difference? In your organization, must you have the corner office, or can your impact be felt from a cubicle or even no office space at all? Do you need to be the one living in the biggest mansion in town to make a difference? A mosquito does not need to bother with more than one person in a multi-roomed house. It just needs to focus on that one room and get its fill from the one or more people in there. No one would knowingly let it in, yet it manages to slip into spaces where it seeks food. No one will willingly let it feed, but it manages to do so against all odds. Still think you need a large space before you can make a difference in the world? Try spending the night in a closed room with just one tiny mosquito to rethink your position.

Thirdly, in a world where impact has largely become synonymous with going viral online, how much of an open space do you really need to make a difference? The mosquito makes itself known in a closed room. You know it’s there because you hear and feel it. Think you still need a space in an open stadium or a huge shopping mall to make a difference? Think you need to focus on everyone in the whole world before you can make a difference in the world? Do you think your name has to be splashed on a billboard, cable network or the www of the world wide web or the whole wide world to make a difference? If the mosquito can make you feel its presence or impact in a closed room whether it lands on you or not, how much of an open space do you really need to make a difference in the world with your gifts, talents, and characteristics? Again, try spending the night in a closed room with just one tiny mosquito to rethink your position.

So, this proverb is applicable to you if you have lived your life or just a portion of this year thinking that you’re not big enough, or do not have a big enough space or waiting for a space that’s open enough to make a difference. Can the mosquito change its size? Can it make itself more attractive that humans will roll out the red carpet for it whenever it’s mosquito o’clock?

As you think about the mosquito for answers to the question of whether you can make a difference in the world, the third question that guided this reflection offers some insights. It’s the question of what relevance does this proverb have at this important season of the year? The exploration of the question delves beyond the realm of mosquitoes to that of humans who understood the power of one person to make a difference. What better time than now to focus on one of those examples?

The Proverb and This Season

Five days from now, the whole world will pause to acknowledge one of the most important days of the calendar year—December 25. The religious event associated with the date is significant for the more than 2 billion people who are adherents of the religion and those who simply enjoy the glitz and glamor of its consumerized trappings. For those who do not care one way or the other, many still have to acknowledge it somewhat as business activities are limited for the day. The glitter and tinsel of the season have been out in full view for several weeks now. But what about the day—Christmas?

Christmas came about because of a middle eastern man who was born in interesting circumstances. His parents were poor peasants whose sustenance depended on finding daily work. Yet, when a heavy cloud of scandalous suspicion hung over his conception, his parents were likely shamed and shunned from finding work or retaining close contact with respectable community throughout his gestation. In more ways than one, things were rough for him from the start.

His arrival to the world was no less dramatic and spurred the male infanticide of the boys he should have had playdates with. To survive, his family had to flee in self-exile to another country till the tyrant king that ordered a mass killing spree of infant boys like him died. They returned to their country, still poor with no sign of specialness about him. He was derisively acknowledged as the carpenter’s son, considered not worthy enough for recognition or the respect of the educated and elite high society of his time. His actions, which evidenced that he was capable of so much more than he was given credit for, were explained away by those who looked down on him as a combination of a con man, lunatic or demon. And his choice of associations did not help matters. He was often in the company of the least, the little, the lost, and the last of those from the communities around him.

This man lived to be 33.5 years old, short by the reckoning of a human life cycle. He never traveled beyond 200 miles from either the tiny village where he was born or the infamous one where he grew up. He was not a writer, politician, or pundit. Without a bullhorn or pulpit, he often had to retreat from crowds who traveled from far away to throng him at all hours of the day and night. Unlike the mosquito, he touched hearts and lives with healing and hope, rescued them from diseases and charging them to tell no one. He did not covet a viral platform nor need a recognized position of authority. His deeds commanded attention, including by those who disdained him. Looking back, we can divide his life into 11 parts of 3 years each. The first 10 parts were spent trying to live, keep his head down, and prep for the fulfillment of his life’s purpose. The last part of 3.5 years of his life were spent fulfilling his purpose. So significant was the life of this poor, homeless man that his words and actions are still pored over by the most educated and sophisticated today.

His name was Christ. His name is Christ. He had 12 disciples then but those who profess belief in him as at 2020 number 2.4 billion people. History bears record of the infamous name of the king who wanted him dead shortly after birth with not much dedicated to him. We still read about the ring leaders of those who scorned him, the disciple who betrayed him, the high priest who oversaw his trial and conviction, the ruler who sentenced him, and many others who played prominent roles in being for and against him. Whether you have faith in the supernatural or not, and whoever you choose to believe, Christmas is a fixed holiday every year. It impacts more than just Christians, even if that only means that certain places are not open or come people are not available on that day. Many Christians view it as not just a holiday, but a holy season of advent. It’s the reminder that someone came to earth, lived a short, purposeful life, died, and rose again to still live. Christmas is a big deal, because of that one person—Christ.

In human terms, Christ’s life was short but impactful. Similar to the mosquito’s, which is also short but impactful. Distance and space were no barrier to Christ’s activity or impact. Similar to the mosquito’s. Distance and space need not be a limitation to the difference you can make with your life.

Like the tiny mosquito, you really can make a difference. Unlike the mosquito, the difference you make can be positive without inflicting pain or being a vector of illnesses. You know when a mosquito is around through their sound and their bite. History tells us that two ways people knew when Christ was around were through his words and his touch. You also have both. What can you do with your mouth and your hands? How can you touch the world with your words and your hands—whether it is by speaking, teaching, singing, writing, creating things, etc.?

AN APPEAL

Through this proverb, you can learn or be reminded of the message that there is considerable power in one person to make a difference. All it takes is to spend a night in a closed room with a mosquito. You can also learn it from the one short life that about a third of the world celebrate at this time. Who feels your impact when you share their space?

Many organizations are splurging on some sort of celebration. Communities are hosting numerous activities. Schools and churches are agog with plays, inspiration, communal singing, and food. The stores lure with cheery décor, seasonal products, and massive sales. The radio stations blare with Christmas music. Because of that one short but impactful life.

Two weeks from now, we’ll be filling in a new year when we write dates. However you have spent this year, reflect on the tremendous power you have to make a difference in the new year. You are enough to start making a difference. Grow in that knowledge and expand your skills and influence to keep doing more. And if you still struggle to think that you can, so that you’re paralyzed by fear or inaction to even start, try spending the night in a closed room with a mosquito to rethink your position.

Merry Christmas and may the reason for the season inspire you to be the difference in whatever closed room that is your world.

LET’S TALK

Were you able to make a difference this year? If you had to overcome feeling small or being told you were too small to make a difference, how did you? Share your steps to inspire and teach us.

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SUBSCRIBERS: Welcome to new subscribers and thank you to those of you that have been here for longer. I remain grateful for your support of this project. Thank you for believing in the vision. Thank you for helping to advance the quest for wisdom. I appreciate you and look forward to your continued engagement.

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It’s less than three weeks to the end of the year and a critical time for reflection. I’ve spoken with several people who are itching to start writing the new year as the date on their documents. They’d “like to be done with this year and not have to think about it again.” Some are thinking about resolutions—wondering whether or not to risk compiling another list of things to start doing, stop doing, or simply do more of in the new year. Whether or not you’re eager for the new year and whether or not you’re interested in that perennial irritant called making New Year Resolutions, the new year will bear down on us all in about 18 days. It’s a wondrous prospect and worth thinking about. It’s also worth planning for.

What is the direction you’d like to see your life go in the new year? For those of us with November birthdays, we often start nitpicking that question early with self-assessments of the past and aspirations for the future . But January 1 is the great equalizer for everyone and it’s around the corner. We all get a blank slate then as the start of a new year. What would you like to see for your life in the new year?

Perhaps the specifics will come later. As you work out the details, I offer a general principle that you can use to drive the general direction of your life in the new year. It’s from a Nigerian proverb that translates in English as “a building plastered with saliva will disintegrate under the morning dew.” It has a ludicrous image of someone plastering a building with saliva. Who does that? That’s why this is a proverb. Perhaps no one does it literally. But figuratively, many do. I did. And got called out on it.

Several years ago, my mother told me this proverb to help me understand the ludicrousness of an action. Talk of an unpleasant but greatly needed feedback. This proverb helped reshape a disastrous bent towards costly shortcuts that could have hardened in me. It became a favorite gauge that I use a lot to appraise plans and actions—mine and of others. As the year winds down to a close and a new one beckons, could this proverb also help equip you to think more critically about what to do in the new year and how?

Maybe you’ll learn the lessons that I did. But before I tell you my story, here are three highlights to give you a better background of the principles it embodies.

1. Building Construction

In Nigeria, as in many parts of Africa, buildings are constructed with concrete blocks sealed with a wet cement mix. Bricklayers (as they are called) know how to lay the bricks so they are set straight. The good ones know the formula for mixing cement, sand, and water to make strong concrete blocks and the mix that holds them together. They know when to embark on the task, factoring in things like the weather, time of day to determine their start and end times, size of the building to be plastered, workforce, and the quantity of materials they have to work with. Whether as homeowner or bricklayer, there is a societal expectation that buildings attached to your name will last, and outlast you.

2. Plastering

When concrete blocks are laid and sealed to a formidable structural strength, the bricklayers plaster the walls with wet cement. They do this to seal the set blocks together, patch up holes, and to cover up the sealed blocks. Plastering goes through the dual process of slathering and smoothening. The good ones know how to mix so the wet cement mix stays on the layered blocks slathered and glides off smoothly as it’s smoothened.

Wet cement hardens quickly, so bricklayers work fast. However, dealing with wet cement is prone to a“garbage in, garbage out” end so bricklayers know that they also cannot sacrifice aesthetics for speed. While the finished product must be beautiful, it must also look a certain way—smooth with no visible jagged cracks or troubling fault lines that forecast chunks later falling off. Once the structural strength is established, the plastering is expected to be a fitting match in aesthetics and strength.

3. Morning Dew

West Africa is one of the hubs of humidity in the world where atmospheric precipitation is a constant. Morning dew is a reality. You wake up in the morning and the ground is damp. Droplets glisten on leaves and fall on the heads of unsuspecting loiterers under trees. With ample sunlight on most days of the year, it’s practical to use solar energy for drying a lot of things. However, if you forget an item that should stay dry outside, it could be ruined by an overnight dew spell. This is one of the reasons why bricklayers do not plaster buildings at certain times of the year beyond a certain time of the day. The right cement mixed with the right amount of water and sand starts hardening within minutes irreversibly. Hard clumps may chip off but will not disintegrate into constituent parts. However, a diluting force such as dew can greatly slow down or destroy the drying process of freshly plastered walls. It’d be a waste of time and money.

It is why the work of plastering is not a mindless task. It needs to be done with the right material, at the right time, and by the right person not cutting corners. I learned this the hard way during a 24-hour spread over two days.

Day 1

I was 13 years old, and my mom asked me to assemble a small shelf. There were 6 boards in the box with 12 screws to hold them in place. I knew where the toolbox was. I knew I had to have the case assembled by the time my mom returned from work. I had handled similar assignments in the past and knew how to do it. My mom knew that I could do it. So did others in the house at the time.

However, we were at home on vacation. Three cousins were vacationing with us and the house was bubbly and fun. So, I played. All of us played, indoors and outside. We watched TV. We ate more than we should have. We yelled in glee and were hideous monsters to our neighbors, but we had no care in the world. Time flew by so fast because we were having so much fun.

Then, my brother realized that it was 3.15pm. 45 minutes before our mom would return from work. And the scramble began, everyone to their neglected tasks. The boards I had to assemble looked alike so there was no need to read the manual. I figured it would take five minutes tops to put it together.

Half an hour later, I decided to glance quickly through the assembly page of the manual. Of course, I knew how to assemble a shelf, but it made me feel responsible to glance through the page that showed how. At least, once.

Afterward, driving in the screws was fast. I had the frame up and was on track to put in the last two screws with two minutes to spare before my mom arrived. Not bad for a last-minute job.

But then, the two small screws decided to go for a spin. A fast one. Both fell from my sweaty palms and didn’t think to stop moving till their heartless run was halted by the wall.

It was the wall behind a hulking shelf. And the only place the errant screws could think to relocate was under and behind that shelf’s majestic heaviness. Too low for my little fingers to get under, too heavy to shift to the side without its contents toppling down. But I still planned to try.

As I strained and pushed to grab the screws, I heard the familiar honk of my mom’s car. Mercy!!!

Adrenalin kicked in. I ran to the hallway, saw a broom (the African broom), and yanked four broomsticks out. I bent them to about twice the length of the missing screws and ran back to my parents’ room.

My quick-thinking brain ordered me to stick bunched broomsticks where the screws should have been. They held the dividing shelf in place and I was done in a flash. Oh, what a save! What ingenuity!

The shelf looked good assembled, and my contribution gave me the confidence to welcome my mom back from work with joyful bliss. I had done what she expected of me and was proud of my accomplishment. She also was pleased. And the evening was wonderful. The following day was going to be even more wonderful since it was her day off. We were all looking forward to it.

Day 2

Early the next morning, mom called me to the room. She sat on the bed, her head angled to the side, peering intently at the shelf I had assembled less than 24 hours before. I caught a glimpse of something white and askew. I planned to devote more attention to studying it in greater details later after I had sat down

Mom patted the space next to her at the edge of the bed as where she wanted me to sit. She flashed me a quick smile and resumed staring at the shelf. I followed her gaze and slowly realized I was at the scene of a crime. My crime.

By this time, I was sweating from everywhere. I inched to the edge of the bed and sat up straighter to look at the shelf.

The dividing shelf was at an odd angle. It was the last board I’d put in. The previous night, my mom had placed a small bowl of a reddish oily stuff on the shelf. When the shelf collapsed, the oil had spilled to stain the bottom shelf and through the cracks onto what I knew to be one of her best tablecloths. It was light pink with a lace trim. She kept staring at the shelf and the table on which it rested, turning her head at different angles in silent dialogue with it.

The more I gazed at the horrific crime, the deeper my understanding that not even angels could save me from imminent life-changing punishment. Shame clasped me in a tight embrace. Water oozed from my pores and eyes. I was cold. I was hot. I wished I could be anywhere else but in front of that collapsed divider shelf. But even the ground refused to open up and swallow me.

Then the inquisition began.

“What is the time, Tomi?”

Me: “It’s… it’s 7.30 ma.”

“When did you set up this shelf?”

Me: “Yes-yes-yesterday, ma.”

“What time yesterday, my child?”

Me: “Around 3…3…3.30, ma.”

“What time did I ask you to do it?”         

Me: “Aro-ro-ro-und 7, ma.”

“What were you doing between 7 & 3.30?”

Silence ... Sweat ….

“What did you do between the time I left for work and 4 pm when I got back?”    

Me: More sweat …. Silence …. Sweat …. Shaking …

(Deep sigh) “… ok. Let’s try again.”

“Did you have time to set up this shelf or did you rush through it?” 

Me: “I did not have enough screws, ma.”

“Oh?”

Then, her face turned serious. No smile. No readable hints. Eyes bored into mine as the air in the room frosted.

She held the bunch of broomsticks that I had stuck in the holes in place of the missing screws on her open palm. They were in my direct line of vision and held my gaze.

“Now listen very carefully and hopefully I will not have to repeat this again.” She had the bunched broomsticks on her open palm, held up to my direct line of vision. In a measured tone, she said: “a building plastered with saliva will crumble under the morning dew.”

She then went on to explain how, by waiting till the last few minutes before her arrival to do what I was supposed to do, I stepped into a well of 7Ds.

1. I delayed working on my assignment, thereby leaving myself with little time to do a good job.

2. I denied myself enough time to respond to things going wrong, which is likely with any task.

3. I became desperate when things went wrong and sought any means to fix the problem.

4. I used deceit to conceal my delay and halted my ability to think through my chosen solution and process.

5. I acted dishonestly by giving the impression that my contribution/assignment was sustainable and reliable.

6. I acted dishonorably when I accepted gratitude and praise for the unreliable and unsustainable job I did.

7. I disappointed myself for not doing my best and not correcting it before being found out.

Dear reader, I was a mess. A hot, cold, shame-filled, sorry, shrunken, blubbering mess.

Mom said she was shocked that I could think of such a brainless plot and not expect to be found out. She was surprised that I was confidently incompetent to make such a choice at 13 years old. She also said she could tell that I was saddened, but only time would tell if my sadness was from what she outlined as my 7 Ds—delay, denial, desperation, deceit, dishonesty, dishonor, and disappointment—or from being found out.

She sent me to go sit for a while to think about my actions and stew in my remorse. Later that day, she also helped me find the 2 missing screws. And made sure that I drove them in as intended. Interestingly, that shelf is still standing, decades later.

Since Day #2

I left home a long time ago. I did not remember that incident until recently. But I still remember the important principle of a building plastered with saliva will crumble under the morning dew. The principle reminds me that time always unveils the rots in foundations. That while it may seem easy to wedge fickle broomsticks in place of missing screws, desperate measures by any means necessary are never the answer to missed deadlines.

You?

Each one of us is building something at any point in time. Or should be. The easiest thing to get is saliva. It is readily available and accessible. You don’t need permission or payment to harvest gallons of it. But is saliva meant for any part of a building construction project? Is it at all a viable alternative to cement mix? Plastering a wall with saliva may seem ludicrous in real terms but it is ubiquitously insidious in many more common ways that are easy to wink at. We each owe it to ourselves to evaluate what we’re building, what we’re using to build, and how.

An Appeal

The new year bears down fast on us. What lies ahead is worth thinking about, and worth planning for. 365 days is a lot of time to build. What will you build — at work, in your life, your relationships, health, wealth, body, soul, and spirt — that needs to be structurally strong and plastered well? Will your building last under the dew of many mornings? More importantly, will your building outlast you, as the builder or the homeowner?

Wherever you stand in these last two weeks—excited about the new year or not, wondering whether to outline new year resolutions or not to—the remaining few days present a good opportunity to review the passing year and preview the future one. There are clues in the past several months about what to leave in this year and what to carry on into the next one. There are also hints around you of what to prepare for in the future. Again, what will you build? Life will continue its cycle of precipitation and dews. What will you use to plaster that will keep your building intact under the morning dew?

Enjoy your reflections and planning.

LET’S TALK

What is your strategy for building to last? In contrast, do you have any saliva-plastering experience you can share for our learning and growth?

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This edition of the newsletter is a continuation of an earlier article #9. It completes a two-part reflection that began with the first part of the interesting proverb: “an army of sheep led by a lion will defeat an army of lions led by a sheep.” The previous article concentrated on the earlier part of the proverb directed at “an army of sheep led by a lion.” Article #9 was a reflection on performance and success when least expected to succeed. It explored the features and characteristics of sheep. It imagined the training, discipline, and preparation that would have taken place for a gentle flock of sheep to be transformed into a formidable army of sheep. In that post, I explored the need for the sheep’s choice of a lion as the leader of their army. I hinted at the initial discomfort of being under the training regimen of a dreaded foe in close proximity to it daily. The power imbalance between the two could not be starker—a predator and a captive grouping of its prey.

If we indulge our imagination, we all can come up with some gory suppositions of unintended contacts and clumsy clashes between the two species during training. It’s not difficult to picture a sheep quivering at the roars that must have intermittently bellowed from the lion leader. Or the guilty “I’m sorry, I got carried away, I won’t do it again” commiserations that the lion leader would have repeated several times to reassure his followers. However rough or challenging, the flock of sheep outlasted army training and emerged a fierce, formidable group that only the ignorant or arrogant could afford to undermine.

At the battle front, where it was showdown for the two armies, the proverb spills the beans that the army of sheep won. That disclosure feeds our curiosity about the outcome of the battle. But the disclosure does not prepare us to process the incongruity of how such an outcome could have been. Lions suffered defeat in the hands of sheep? The conclusion last week was that the sheep that showed up on the day of battle were not a flock of sheep, but an army of sheep. That distinction between the two different types of sheep made all the difference at the battlefront. Sadly, it appears the lions did not get the memo and the predators were felled by what should have been some of their easiest preys.

What went wrong? The lion is renowned for courage, strength, and being a ferocious predator. Legendary in human circles, we’ve tagged it the “king of the jungle” though it lives in savannah grasslands and plains. We have the images of its body—in part and in full—on the national crests of several countries. And through the ages, many great leaders have been associated with lions through their official titles and beloved nicknames. There are hundreds of movies and books that document tales, fiction, and non-fiction accounts either about lions or with them as illustration. Two of the most popular—CS Lewis’ The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, and Lion King, the animated touching story of Simba, his family, and escapades—remain classics for multiple generations. Why the fixation on them? And why did they lose what should have been an easy win? This article is a reflection on performance and success when expected to succeed.

Let’s dig into some background on lions before analyzing the battle and its shocking outcome of defeat in the hands of sheep. For more details about lions, check out the national geographic and Karin Lehnardt’s 91 Roaring Lion Facts. If you’d like a refresher on quick facts about sheep, get to Article #9.

Quick Facts About Lions

General Features. There are clear distinctions between male and female lions. Adult males weigh between 400-500 pounds while females weigh about half of that. Lions are the ones with manes, which tells a lot about them to rivals and potential mates. Lionesses do not have manes, which makes it easy to tell them apart. Findings from the Lion Research Center in Tanzania helped uncover that the darker the shade of the mane, the older the lion, the higher its testosterone levels, the stronger the virility, and the faster their ability to heal from wounds. The darker-maned males are therefore the heartthrobs of lionesses, and they prefer to mate with them to ensure the continuity of life.

Lions walk without their heels touching the ground. Compared to their big cat cousins—tigers, leopards, cheetahs, and jaguars—they are also the slowest runners in the family though they can easily run short distances at 50 mph in short bursts of speed. Their strong bodies can stretch up to 10 feet long, which makes them great swimmers. When the situation demands, they can leap as far as 36 feet. Also, lions are the only cat that roars but they cannot produce their first roar until age two. Once they start though, their roar has a terrifying 5-mile-range.

Lions deserve a honorable mention in the sleep category. They sleep for 20-22 hours a day and scavenge mostly at night. They must consume about 18 pounds of meat daily to stay well. For a human, that would be about 70 hamburgers a day. Approximately 90% of their nightly raids are done by lionesses with about 50% success rate. Lions have loose skin on their belly that desperate preys often kick at or bite without hurting them. When successful, they get their captives to their pride alive and use them for cubs’ hunting practice before they feast on them for dinner or breakfast.

Senses. A lion sees better than humans but with little peripheral vision. They have to move their heads from side to side to see in the direction of whatever they hear. Their hearing is sharp and picks sound distinctly from a mile away. They also have several tools on their bodies, which they use to full advantage. One is the protractible claws that they use to scratch and pierce their prey. Each claw is about 3 inches long, about the size of the human finger. They’re sheathed when not in use, which helps keep them sharp and allow them to move in their majestic prance without tensing up. Another bodily tool is their special rough and scratchy tongue that can peel the skin off their prey to expose the flesh. Just a few licks by a lion’s tongue can peel away much of the skin on a human body. In addition, just as you can tell the age of a male by the shade of its mane, so you can tell lions apart by the unique pattern of a black spot on the base of their whiskers. To each, their own. Each lion has a distinct pattern that’s akin to the human fingerprint.

Prides. Lions are the only social big cat and live in prides with other lions. The population of a pride can be between 2-40, with 13 lions being the average number that live together. Each pride comprises one dominant male, two or three other males, and a majority of females who are related and their cubs. The dominant male has a dual role. One, he must mate with all the females and get them pregnant. Usually, he gets the job done over two days of dedicated attention to the task with each one. Reproduction is relatively fast, and females carry pregnancies to term in just 3½ months. Secondly, he must defend the pride from male aggressors who seek to take over. Lion prides are matriarchal, and they take the “it takes a village” mantra seriously in the communal care for cubs. However, with space for only two to three males in a pride, lions get kicked out of their prides by their moms and aunts at age 2 to go fend for themselves and start their own prides. In contrast, lionesses often live in the same pride for their entire lives.

Fights. Territorial wars break out a lot and lions are at the center of it. Usually, the two or three lions in the pride are able to exert control for an average of 4 years before a rival male gang kills them and all the cubs to start a new family with the lionesses. In addition, each pride controls a territory of approximately 100 square miles. The members of the prides around the water sources are better off as they have access to a wide variety of animals who must drink from the rivers. This prime location makes them more vulnerable to concerted attacks by prideless males who seek to start families of their own in relative ease. With all that they have going on, only about 1 out of 8 lions make it to adulthood, though they can live up to 12 or 16 years.

Captivity. Humans are fascinated by lions and have captured a number of them in zoos and circuses around the world. Many can live up to 20 years in captivity, away from the fierce turf wars that is the fate of lions in the wild. Strange things also happen to lions in captivity, one of which is their mating partners. For instance, when a lioness and a male leopard mate, they produce a leopon whose head is lion-like and whose body is leopard-like. Male jaguars and lionesses have mated to produce jaglions. The offspring of a lioness and a male tiger is called a tigon and the offspring of a male lion and tigress is called a liger. Check out what a tigon/tigron and liger look like.

An Army of Lions Defeated by An Army of Sheep?

There are things that should never be uttered and one of them is the report that an army of lions suffered defeat in the hands of an army of sheep. However we spin it, there is no justification for such a battle outcome nor is there any easy way to process it.  What went wrong in a battle between a strong carnivore and a less strong vegetarian? How likely is it that an animal with a ferocious appetite can meet a potential ready meal yet still lose it? Far more likely than we often admit, especially when the stronger has peculiarities that disadvantage it in battle, and he does little or nothing to strategize around his strengths and weaknesses. There are several hyped things about lions that, if dialed back to the truth, should surprise no one that they can suffer defeat by weaker opponents. This post-mortem will focus on 5 mis-es that made the lions lose to the sheep.

1. Misconceptions. The way the battle went down suggests that the lions had a series of misconceptions about the sheep. First, there is no reason why a sheep should not quiver at the sound of a lion. Their roar can be heard from 5 miles away and their claws are deadly. When a natural prey has the audacity to show up in battle and face a deadly predator for a fight, it’s time to pause to get a better sense of its motivation and source of courage. What prey knowingly does that except one on a suicide mission or one that’s been trained to war against bigger, stronger, and fiercer predators and knows it can win? Yet an army of them moved in with sure strides to war against the lions and the lions thought it was business as usual. Any wonder why the sheep prevailed over the lions?

2. Mischaracterizations. Dictionaries define this word as to give a false or misleading character to something or someone. In the earlier article about the army of sheep, I emphasized the role of the right training by the right leader as a crucial preparation for battle with a formidable foe. The sheep stayed firmly aware of the character of their foe till they gained the courage, knowledge, and skill to fight them. At the battlefront, it did not matter how often the lions had languished under the mischaracterization of the sheep as stupid, gullible, easy prey. That mischaracterization influenced the way the lions prepared and showed up for battle and cost them a lot. They lost two of the most important things to them—food and dominance—to a weaker, lesser species. While they may live to fight another day and win, they lost that important battle. They got more than they bargained for because they mischaracterized their foe.

3. Misjudgment. Misconceptions about others, especially who are weaker, can lead to mischaracterizations about them and misjudgment of their abilities, performance, and outcomes.  A lion’s strength and courage are legendary, but these qualities can give it a false sense of importance and prowess. They also do not automatically qualify them for military success. For though acclaimed king of the animal kingdom, their 50% success rate at hunting suggests that even lions also require training. While they get these from the adult lionesses in their pride, their training is targeted at hunting their prey, not how to deal with preys that walk up to them prepared for battle, like the army of sheep in this proverb. These sheep were not at the battlefront to frolic in the face of danger. Seeing a flock of sheep heading in their direction is the first sign of unusual behavior that should have made the lions pause to re-assess the situation. but the slippery slope of misconceptions and mischaracterizations inevitably spirals downward into costly misjudgment. No wonder the humiliating outcome of defeat.

4. Miscalculations. An army is never done with training if they are to be ready to combat existing and new threats. By the day of the battle, the army of sheep had received training sufficient for their first face-off in battle. They knew they had to confront a formidable army of lions and had put in the work to overcome their natural fright and flight response to them. They knew it’d be an unusual fight, a foolhardy one to onlookers, and a seeming death wish to the army of lions. But they were ready and showed up ready to fight.

   In contrast, the lion’s misconception, mischaracterization, and misjudgment, of the sheep shaped their preparation for the battle. It is good to be strong, but wisdom prescribes using the right strategy to maximize strength. The mistake of misjudging the army of sheep spiraled into misinterpreting the seriousness of their decision to fight. The lions did not anticipate a lion leader for the army of sheep they met in battle. How bad was this miscalculation on their part?

   One of the many ways it could have been bad for the lions was the timing. Lions like to scavenge for prey between the 2-4 nighttime hours that they manage to stay awake. Chuck Jones, the late American animator, director, and painter, best known for his work with Warner Bros summed them up well with the observation that “a lion’s work hours are only when he’s hungry; once he’s satisfied, the predator and prey live peacefully together.”

   Thus, it is possible that while the sheep were putting their all into getting through various rounds of training by a lion general, the army of lions stuck to their nocturnal hunting schedule. Compare an army that spends about 80% of the day sleeping with another that needs less than 20% nap time to function. Consider the impact of that disparity in sleep times and patterns on preparation time and focus for any serious venture. Sheep don’t even take the 4 hours of sleep they need at a stretch. They understand their vulnerability to prowling predators like lions. So, they usually flock together to graze and huddle together as they sleep lightly. In terms of training for battle, which of the two has more time to prepare? The sleeping ferocious lion that can only manage to stay awake for 2 to 4 hours of the day or the less strong sheep that can snatch sleep in bits and pieces, including while upright on all fours? In terms of fighting in battle, what was the lions’ strategy to win? Any wonder why the weak can sometimes subdue the strong?

5. Mistakes. Let’s pretend that the other 4 mis-es are not mistakes. If there is one fundamental mistake that is at the foundation of the defeat suffered by the army of lions, it is in the appointment of their leader. A strong person who surrenders to the leadership of the weak should expect to lose by giving away its strength without benefitting from the weakness of its chosen leader. Knowing how lions often fight to the kill, what could have possessed an army of lions to appoint a sheep as their leader? Was it the sheep’s superior vision? Had the sheep fought with a band of lions before and prevailed? Both lions and sheep are social animals that live in groups. Both species care about their young. But did the lions know that a sheep’s sharp memory allows it to recognize members of its flock even up to two years after separating from them? How does that compare with their own practice of kicking out their own sons and nephews at age two to fend for themselves? Having appointed a sheep to lead them, what if the sheep arrived in battle and discovered that the army behind enemy lines are his long-lost relatives? Studies show that the sheep will decamp. Could this have been part of the problem at the battlefront? If so, shouldn’t a serious army have anticipated that and chosen a different leader? Misconception fuels ignorance. Mischaracterization breeds arrogance. Misjudgment can stem from both ignorance and arrogance and will certainly lead to miscalculations and the kind of costly mistakes that the army of lions made.

An Appeal to Lions

When strange things happen, like sheep defeating lions in battle, they cause us to pause and reflect. There is no reason why a sheep should not quiver at the sound of a lion but the the natural impracticality in this proverb of a group of sheep heading towards the lions are not on a mission to be eaten but to fight. Thus, when a natural prey has the audacity to show up in battle and face such a deadly predator for a fight, it’s time to pause to get a better sense of its motivation and source of courage. What prey knowingly does that except one on a suicide mission or one that’s been trained to war against bigger, stronger, and fiercer predators and knows it can win. Their leader is a lion, likely a dominant male that was ejected from its first pride.

Are you a lion? Have you suffered the bitter experience of losing battles that you had no business losing? Hold on to misconceptions about the weak as though they cannot strengthen their weaknesses to your own disadvantage. Mischaracterize those who you must face in battle to your own detriment. And misjudge others at your own peril. You will make mistakes galore and suffer humiliating defeats in abundance.

Never underestimate an opponent based on natural knowledge. The audacity of a small prey to show up in battle and face you for a fight should give you pause and lead you to rethink and restrategize. Preferably before arriving at the battlefront.

You do not know where people have been. You do not know the changes that have happened to and in them since the last time you saw them. Do not relate to people that you saw last month as though nothing about them has changed. Avoid using the generics of personality types to define people. Don’t presume that you have everyone figured out. The sheep that you think is part of a flock could have completed elite training that equips them to give you a sound defeat. Keep an open mind to discover new things and stay on guard.

And for the sake of all that’s normal, rise up as a lion. If sheep can embrace their strengths and overcome their weaknesses to face bigger predators like you, what efforts are you willing to make to rise to the leadership status symbol that the whole world ascribes to you as a lion? You are expected to succeed. Rise up and prepare for your performance to achieve success.

LET’S TALK

Do you have additional insights on this part of the proverb to share? Or perhaps a personal experience? Or insights about additional reasons why an army of lions can lose to an army of sheep?

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