#7 - Nigerian Proverb: If Something That Was to Chop Off Your Head Merely Removed Your Cap, You Should Be Thankful.

Reflections on reasons to "Think, and Thank. - Part 1: The Whats"

Nov 15, 2022

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It’s countdown to the last Thursday of the month. Here in the US, that’s Thanksgiving Day. It’s when families load tables with turkey/tofurkey, corn bread, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, green beans casserole, sweet yams, and other yummy thanksgiving staples. It’s a tradition that dates back centuries and is also practiced in other countries and religions. There is simply a time to give thanks and the US government has made that an annual, official holiday. On that day, we’re supposed to not eat mindlessly but to eat in, and with gratitude. A proverb from thousands of miles away in western Nigeria calls for a deeper reflection on the act of thanksgiving and offers both a reason to give thanks as well as what we can be thankful for. It says that “If something that was meant to chop off your head merely flicked off your cap, you should be thankful.” This proverb is worth pondering. For though you may not have been near where bullets were fired or in close proximity to a guillotine, you were no less in danger of something chopping off your head in the last 11.5 months. Hence, as you look forward to the delicacies of Thanksgiving, what things can you be thankful for this year, and why?

The proverb is specific about a narrow escape. Forgive the graphic depiction of head chopping; the proverb describes the weight of what was intended as not just a slap or a punch to the head. Instead, it is something that was specifically targeted to cause death by decapitation. However, the action was not successful as intended and you are alive to respond to the action and the actor behind it. This proverb says that the appropriate reaction or response is to take a deep breath and be thankful.

Some context may help better digest the counsel.

Cultural Context of Caps

Everywhere in Nigeria, the origin of this proverb, a cap is an essential piece of male traditional dressing. When the proverb was first stated, men dressed mainly in traditional clothes. Not only on weekends, but practically every day. Most would wear just the two-piece set without the third, flowy outer layer. However, a man is not really considered fully dressed in traditional clothes without his cap. As a multi-cultural nation, Nigerian tribes dress differently. However, you can tell where a man is from or chooses to borrow his dressing from by the type, texture, and style of his cap. Here are a few examples from the internet. Google “Nigerian men’s styles” if you’d like to see more.

Culturally, it is courteous and a sign of good breeding for a man to wear a cap. It adds elegance to the wearer. It completes what is worn. And it signifies respect for the culture. Sometimes, it also indicates respect for the host and other guests. The cap’s main purpose is to accessorize the clothing. It is a fashion statement that allows every man to wear the style that suits him best. Most caps are bespoke, and tailors measure the circumference of the head to make them. They are worn snug on the head. Too loose, and the wind can blow them off. Too tight, and the wearer will have a hard time getting it on or a headache keeping it on.

Also, every man puts on his own cap, except in rare occasions of display of tenderness or respect when they allow a trusted loved one to put it on them. The responsibility of placing a cap on a man’s head is weighty and those who get such privileges do not take it lightly.

Further, men in western Nigeria do not wear caps at home, or wherever else they feel at home. They take it off when stepping inside a church. When appearing before a monarch. When greeting older in-laws. Some take it off to eat, when relaxed, in recline, or in serious conversation. When they take it off, they cradle the cap on their knee or place it on a surface around them, ready to pick it up and put it back on.

As mainly a fashion statement, most Nigerian caps do not offer much protection against a force strong enough to sever the head. It is one of the reasons why it is unthinkable for someone to snatch a cap from another’s head, considered a sacred part of the body. Doing so portends negativity. It could only signify displeasure, disrespect, or dishonor. If done by a more powerful person, the wearer usually breaks out in a sweat and knows to start pleading for mercy. To dare to remove a cap from a more powerful person’s head is a culturally grievous act that will send shockwaves through the wearer and any witness. It would require a defense of the wearer’s honor. And the defense could range from a thorough beating, arrest, public censure, or long-term ban from the wearer’s presence. Snatching a cap from another’s head is not just a faux pas, it is considered a sacrilege.

In some other cultures, removing a cap from someone else’s head would be considered an assault. Or a prelude to a more nefarious intention or action. In this proverb, the act of snatching a cap from another’s head is described as a postlude to a nefarious intention and action. Removal of the cap was not the aim. Instead, it was the severing of the head from the body. The failure of that plot is what resulted in the snatched cap off the wearer’s head. His head is still on his shoulder, only that his cap is gone. Given the original intention, the proverb says what happened was not just cultural, it had implications for mortality. Hence, do not respond with the thought of avenging a cultural sacrilege. Instead, pause to take in the gravity of what could have been, and be thankful for what is.

Knowing how important it is to punish an impudent offender that would snatch a cap off the head of another, the proverb specifies that there is no ‘who’ to search for, but a ‘what.’ The sacrilegious offender is not a someone, but a “something.” You’ve had your narrow escape. The proverb notes that you are alive when you should have been dead. So, think, and thank. It stipulates that there is no living being to attack, no one to hold responsible, and no need to search for accountability at this time. Just think, and thank. The proverb also gives tacit acknowledgment to the normal human reaction when caught off-guard by grave danger. But it states that however shaken you are, however assaulted you feel, and however fierce the rage coursing through your veins, just think, and thank. Hold your horses. Don’t curse, don’t fret, don’t be anxious. Instead, think, and thank.

“Think, and Thank” - The Whats

There’s another proverb from the same source that’s often used alongside the “if something that was meant to chop off your head merely knocked off your cap, be thankful.” The twin proverb says that “someone who does not know how to think will not know how to thank.”

The focus of the first proverb is on the need to be thankful and what to be thankful for. The second focuses on the process of recalling reasons and things to be thankful for. Sitting to reflect on the past will uncover things (the Whats) and people (the Whos) to be thankful for. The next post will focus on the Whos. The scope of this post is on the Whats. Its focus is on those things—circumstances, situations, errors of judgment, etc— that could have killed you but merely left you shaken. Probably, battered and bruised. Their residue is fear or anger or both. The aftermath is a shrunken you—scarred by the past, uncertain in the present, and with shaky or no hope about the future. Life hands out curveballs like candy. Any number of possible scenarios could have happened to you but you survived, however narrow the escape. You’re still here to be reading this. If you heard about someone else being hit with a curveball, your humanity should humble you to a reflection of things to be thankful for. Because, it could have been you.

So, I’ve been thinking. Thinking about life in the last year. Wondering if there were things that aimed to chop off my head but merely removed my cap.

Any reasons to be thankful?

I crunched the numbers on time. At noon wherever you are in the world on Tuesday, November 15, you and I would have spent 318 days or 7,644 hours of the year 2022. During that time, many people died unexpectedly. Many lost their jobs and many are on the verge of losing them. Some lost their homes, their limbs, or their loved ones without warning. The time we’ve used up is far more than what remains ahead. Shouldn’t we think, and thank?

If you liken a year to a ladder with 12 rungs, you are now midway between Rungs 11 and 12. Some people that you know or have heard about didn’t make it to Rung 2. But here you are on Rung 11, making plans to step onto Rung 12. Planning for what you’ll do when you get to the top and transition to the 2023 ladder. Shouldn’t you think, and thank?

You’re still here, in spite of the number of shootings around the country this year. Some were shot in their cars, homes, schools, businesses, and church, while shopping, while walking, while minding their own business. It could have been me. It could have been you. Think about those situations. You’re still here. Shouldn’t you think, and thank?

You’re still here, though the Center for Disease Control (CDC) states that 1,070,947 have died from COVID-19 in the US since the start of the pandemic in 2020. Citing federal data, ABC stated that around 225,000 of those died this year alone. When I got sick with COVID at the start of the year, it started as a mini sore throat. Totally unexpected. Really brutal. It battered my system during its 7-day onslaught and left it ravaged for months afterward. On Days 5-8, I wasn’t sure I would make it or ever feel whole again. We were still on the first rung of the 2022 ladder. Since then, I’ve dealt with the aftermath and other health challenges. But here I am on Rung 11.5, still standing, the terror of those days a distant memory. Maybe you’re stronger than me and your health has been great this year. No visit to the doctor’s office. No hospital stay. No concerning diagnosis or symptoms. Think about how much money and time you saved. Think about how much pain you were spared. Think about the fact that, ill like I was or not, you’re still here. Particularly because of your good health, shouldn’t you think, and thank?

You’re still here, though many died emotionally this year as a result of circumstances that targeted them with the aim of chopping off their heads. All kinds of addictions that killed their emotions till they died accidentally or took their own lives. These were the rich, powerful, poor, powerless, male, female, old, young, white, black, brown, and every shade in-between. Did you have a safe gestation that did not predispose you to intoxication or addiction? Got the right doctor? Are you on the right medication? Have clarity and control of what goes into your body and your impulses? Be thankful, not out of arrogance or ignorance, but from a heart full of appreciation for what you have—your life, your will, and your cognition that you’re able to read this. Shouldn’t you think, and thank?

You’re still here, while many died financially because of a debilitating disease or illness that’s wiped off their money, savings, and ability to earn income. Hefty hospital bill, protracted recovery, expired unemployment benefits, delayed disability support, no family, few friends able and willing to bail them out, and mortgage lenders for whom life must go on without interruption. You have your finances, including a nest egg. You’re able to enjoy the normalcy that allows. You’re assured protection it offers against medical and other forms of emergencies. Shouldn’t you think, and thank?

You’re still here, in the location that you chose, not on the run from the terrors of war. Think about Ukrainians who woke up on February 24 to a death, desecration, and the destruction of life as they knew it. Some didn’t make it. Some will be scarred for life by the horrors they saw and heard and the terrors they encountered while fleeing. You are in relative peace where you are. You are where you chose to be, not where you were forced to flee. Shouldn’t you think, and thank?

You changed jobs this year and are still settling into your new place, shouldn’t you think, and thank?

You retired and are refired for your next chapter, shouldn’t you think, and thank?

You are still figuring things out about your life, relationships, career, health, wealth, and all other things. You can figure things out because you’re still breathing. You can seek clarity because what chopped off some people’s heads left you with only your cap knocked off your head. Shouldn’t you think, and thank?

AN APPEAL:

All across the US and other 4-seasoned countries of the world, fall has fallen. Golden leaves blanket the base of trees while spindly branches remind that frost awaits. The days are now shorter, the nights colder, and every hour is a welcome change from the stifling heat of a few weeks ago. People seem happier, as though each extra layer of clothing against the cold infuses with extra joy. While I blinked, pumpkins, fall wreaths, and inflatable turkeys took over from the Halloween spiders, skulls, and skeletons that adorned the front lawns just a few short weeks ago. Some even have their front lawns twinkling at night in silent declaration that they are already in Christmas mode. It’s a special time to ponder the question of possible things that aimed for my head but got my cap instead.

For you, your thanksgiving may be condensed into a few hours on the last Thursday of November while preparing food or enjoying it. Research consistently shows that there are great gains from giving thanks. Ranging from increased joy, self-esteem, social support, and psychological well-being, to improved relationships, sleep, mental health, and overall physical health, gratitude really pays. Not as lip service or occasional whimsical acts, but as a lifestyle. As an attitude that flows from the heart and permeates all aspects of life. Gratitude that, beyond the transience of feelings and emotions, juggles the brain with a glass-half-full approach in deep reflections of what was, what is, what could have been, and what could be. It’s not too early to start thinking about 2022 so you can start thanking for 2022. Really, shouldn’t you think, and thank?

LET’S TALK:

How are you prepping for Thanksgiving and the remainder of the year? Have you started thinking about the time you’ve spent already this year? What are you thankful for? Share your insights in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you.